The Happiest of Man

Chapter 18

As he settled himself down upon his wheelchair, digital camera upon his lap, he wheeled his way to the door, however he felt as if he had forgotten something. Izaya looked around his large living quarters as he spotted the journal upon his desk again.

“Wouldn’t that be unwise of me?”

He shrugged carelessly as he approached his desk and held the journal and pen in his hands.

“Why not, then.”

Izaya looked out his window at the blue sky.

“Yeah, why not?”

If anyone were to ask him about his journal, he’d most likely tell them that it’s nothing important. Many people would have responded in such a way, especially since they wouldn’t want any wandering eyes to probe through the contents within. However, Izaya would be telling the truth – through his perspective anyway. All he has ever written about were the symptoms he had to endure. He never went into heavy detail about it, though. Everything he wrote was very brief. Izaya hasn’t reached page ten and admittedly, he hasn’t been paying any mind to his journal. 

Whenever he picked up a pen or even a pencil, he was immediately angered at the sudden reminder that he was falling apart. Watching the tip of his pencil break just because he was pressing too hard made him want to shove everything on his desk onto the floor. He wasn’t destructive enough to resort to such a thing, though. The farthest he has gone was settling his writing utensil down and neglect his journal for days, weeks . . . even months.

Heading outside, he felt the cool breeze as he decided to place the camera within his coat pocket and keep the journal underneath the hem of his coat to keep it from falling off his lap. Izaya wasn’t sure what he will take photographs of and what he will write about in the outdoors, but ‘just in case’, he thought.

The informant – or former informant – felt fortunate that the snow hasn’t fallen yet. It would have been difficult to navigate through the city if the sidewalks were covered in softened ice. He decided to wander aimlessly for awhile until he made it to the edge of the park. People were enjoying themselves, holding bottles of green tea and a bag of mochi in their hands. They seemed out of place since it was cold outside and couldn’t they enjoy their treats indoors? But, Izaya thought that humans were strange and were capable of so many things.

“How silly.”

A thought crossed his mind – what did he look like when he was smiling despite his disease? The people he was watching appeared genuinely happy. There wasn’t an ounce of dissatisfaction in their expression. It would be a lie if he said that it warmed his heart – because really, it was rare for him to feel that way to begin with, but the thought of smiles and laughter . . . He began to wonder why he was thinking so deeply about it now.

Turning to a blank page upon the journal, he decided to write down a sentence or two: I never made anyone happy with what I have done.

It would be a lie if I said that I regretted it.

I wonder if I would make a number of humans happy if I were to die.

What an amusing thought.

- -

It was for business purposes. That was what he was told. 

Shizuo couldn’t decline such an assignment, especially since he owes both Tom and the boss a lot for what he has put them through. It didn’t make going to Shinjuku any better, though.

It was cold and he was starting to get the sniffles because of it even though he dressed heavily – in a coat, a comfortable scarf, and even gloves.

“Ahh, so annoying.”

He was expected to pick up a package although he was unsure of the contents. Shizuo didn’t carry any suspicions towards his boss and Tom – he knew that the package may as well contain something that will help the business prosper. The moment he had retrieved it, he was ready to finally return home and he was ecstatic to set foot within the city that he was very much familiar with.

What delayed his return was the person seated in front of the park’s entrance, appearing to be writing down something in a notebook. As he squinted his eyes to see who it was, he realized right away that it was Izaya.