Jennifer Two

THIRTY.

July 26th, 2016

I finally agreed to a TV interview. Just over a week after being tested, I accepted an offer from a national talk show airing in Los Angeles, where I would be interviewed with my parents on the whole ordeal.

A make-up artist primps me up in the dressing room, and I stare anxiously at the watch, knowing I will be on the sofa in less than half an hour, telling my story to the world. I was always reluctant to do something like this, and now that it's actually happening, I wish I could disappear into the earth. Everyone in the whole world will see this. I guarantee Bret and Nicole will tune in. maybe even Jonesy and anybody else that knew Rose, if they're still around. I wonder if Tanner will see it. I know Abby will see this, as well as Miles. As well as every other kid in the Bluebeach district. All of the people that I lied to or kept this secret from will see me in high definition, trying my best to tell a live studio audience how I feel about it. I don't know how I feel about everything. Lost. Yeah, I think that's it; I'm lost.

"Are you ready, Miss Middleton?" a backstage assistant walks in, trying to prep me up for the interview. The butterflies in my stomach are growing more frantic, flapping their thin wings around my guts until I feel nauseous. I don't know if I can do this, but I know that I have to. I need people to know the truth - the real, honest truth. No more secrets. Not anymore. All the while, I'm thinking of a cute boy named Kal, knowing he'll be tuning in for sure. I need to swat that out of my mind, because this is about me. This is for me, for once. Not Jennifer-Rose. Not my parents or my siblings. Me.

Vivian Wilson, the talk show host, also arrives, greeting me with a hug once I step out of the make-up chair. I've got to admit – this is the best I've probably ever looked. Though I didn't go to prom, and there have never been many significant events which required looking deceptively beautiful in the past. I just hope it translates through the camera lens when I step out on stage.

"How are you feeling about tonight?" She asks, beaming a luminescent white grin. She smells too good - like a rich forty-something year old divorcee with a house in Beverly Hills and a zillion product endorsements.

"I'm... confident." I lie.

"Well, that's lovely to hear! This really is phenomenal," she shakes her head in wonder. "We'll discuss more on the couch, alright?" She smiles again before striding out. I sit back down and take a sip of the coffee I was given in a polystyrene cup. It's definitely something I need to stimulate my senses – I think I would be dead right now without it. I've been up for days since finding out about the show, as well as other things. I don't think I'm an insomniac, but I might be turning into one, slowly and surely.

Soon, the time comes, and the butterflies rile up into a frenzy again. My parents sit on either side of me in the green room as we watch the show, rising on cue to Vivian beckoning us to stage. The crowd is huge, making me instantly wish that this was a private interview, chopped and changed for the public to view at a later date. Technically this one is also pre-recorded, but it is still being viewed by a live audience.

I stride on, smiling with my parents following closely behind. I sit at the end of the sofa closest to Vivian whilst my mother and father sit on the outside. I'm glad I don't really have to face them or have them in my view when Vivian asks me questions.

"So, we'll start with the parents, Roseanna and Jeff Middleton," Vivian smiles, signalling to them. "First of all, though this may seem quite... unnecessary in some ways... I would like to tell you how sorry I am for your loss of Jennifer-Rose all of those years ago. It must have been so... painful. Tell me how you remember feeling at the time of her death."