Darling (close your eyes)

Reflection

Sometimes, Jimin thinks, he just wants to punch his reflection, to shatter the mirror, break it over and over again until the shards of glass can't show him what he already knows. How worthless he is, in this beautiful group of 6 talented boys.

Taehyung and Jungkook are handsome, charming, the whole of Korea fell in love with the minute of their debut. Who was he to compete with them, when he could barely stay upright? He fell wherever he went. His best friends overshadowed him, and he still had no right to be envious.

Hoseok and Jin had both confidence and skill. Hobi-hyung could rap, and dance circles around the rest of them. Jin-hyung was beautiful, Mr. Worldwide Handsome, and singer through and through. Jimin was ugly compared to them, too fat to dance without tripping. He couldn't even hope to reach their level.

Yoongi. So hardworking, able to spit fire and write songs filled with meaning, beyond anything Jimin could ever hope to create. And even though he pretended his heart was stone cold, Jimin knew that Yoongi was one of the most caring members. Who was he to even sing those songs, that Yoongi had spilled his heart to? He had relied on other to propel him towards his debut, and now, even with Bangtan's fame, he contributed nothing to continue BTS's thoughtful songs.

And Namjoon, tall and strong, quiet, thoughtful, their leader. Jimin couldn't count the times Joon-hyung had stayed up past everyone else, even Yoongi, meeting the deadlines that threatened them constantly. Or all those times when members were homesick, or felt sad, that was when Namjoon would come and sit quietly besides them, offering comfort without judgement.

So, as Jimin sat, staring at his reflection, at the mess he had become, he resolved to be better.

He could become better. Practice more; eat less; become a member that his hyungs could be proud of. A member that their maknaes could look up to. He could sacrifice his calm, his sanity, if it meant that he could truly become the 7th member of Bangtan. And if Bangtan needed only handsome, skinny, talented members, well, then Jimin would just have to fit that image.

Namjoon's POV:

It was getting harder these days, to keep up with the deadlines, the choreography, the amount of time it took to compose new songs, to master the dances that seemed so hard, but the dance line mastered within a practice. He could barely keep track of his too-long legs, never mind actually moving them in the graceful movements needed to dance. Last night he had barely slept for 4 hours, having stayed up to work up on their comeback; and on top of it all, he had messed up uncountable times practicing their newest dance. So, as he stumbled into the dorms at 1am, he reflected that the last thing he wanted to do at this moment was...anything. Period. It was time to fall into bed and die. Or sleep. Whichever came first.

As he bent down to take off his shoes, a soft cry upset the still silence of the dorm. Joon raised his head sharply, hands stopped in mid motion as he untied his shoelaces. Who was up? The only other member who would likely be up was Yoongi-hyung, and he knew for a fact that the grumpy rapper had already gone to bed, when Joon had offered to finish the lyrics for him. As he waited in baited silence, another raspy sob penetrated through the walls. Namjoon quietly stood up, and as quietly as he could, he crept towards the sound. Passing Jin's room, he opened the door and poked his head in; the telltale lump in the middle of the bed told him that Jin was not the culprit here. He continued his search, but Taehyung, Jungkook, and Yoongi were all in their respective rooms. He reached Hoseok and Jimin's shared room, and checking inside, could only see Hoseok sprawled across his bed, sound asleep. And as he came to the obvious conclusion, he heard the quiet, but unmistakable, sound of retching in the farthest bathroom.

Namjoon ran as quietly as he could, and almost stumbled as he pushed open the door. And there, just as he had expected, and feared, Jimin sat, braced against the unforgiving wall, right next to the toilet. He looked up, his eyes like a deer in the headlights, as Namjoon burst into the room and stopped short at the sight of of him.

"Jimin-ah-" Namjoon's voice trailed off as he looked between Jimin and the toilet, obviously connecting the dots. His face was white, stricken, and he moved closer to Jimin slowly, eyes pleading. He crouched down in front of Jimin, and softly asked, "Chimmy, what are you doing?"

Jimin looked as if someone had pulled a rug out underneath him. He swallowed once, twice, and opened his mouth to answer, and instead of words, a cry coiled up and out. He fell forwards into Joonie's arms, sobbing and sobbing and Namjoon just held him, arms tightening, resting his head on top of Jimin's soft hair. He sat back carefully, long legs outstretched, and held Jimin like it was the only thing anchoring him to the world.

"Shhhh, Jimin-ah, it's going to be ok, shhh." Jimin just cried harder, tears staining Namjoon's shirt, and with a sinking realization Namjoon thought of all those times that Jimin didn't eat breakfast, lunch, dinner, all those times he said he wasn't hungry, or didn't feel good, when instead of eating, he gave his food to Jungkook or Taehyung, or-

"Jimin, sweetheart, how long has this been going on?" Jimin choked out a quiet, "weeks," and took in a deep rattling breath. Behind him, Namjoon could hear the muted sounds of someone, probably Jin, coming out of his room. "Chimmy, should I shut the door? Do you want Jin?" He could feel Jimin shaking his head under his chin, and so, still carefully cradling Jimin, he reached behind him and grabbed the bottom corner of the door. He closed it as carefully as he could, and then wrapped his arms around the boy's back. "Hey, it's going to be ok. We can deal with this ok? You're going to be ok." Jimin just mumbled, "bed," under his breath. Namjoon nodded, and asked, "Can you walk, or do you want me to carry you?" Jimin lifted his head at that. "Can-can-can you carry me? I don't... think I can walk." Joon nodded, and started to stand up. A knock on the door alerted him to Jin's presence. "Namjoon-ah? What's going on?"

He looked at Jimin, who silently pleaded with his eyes, and looked back and said, "Nothing, Jin-hyung I thought-I thought I heard something." Silence; and then the muffled reply, "Oh. I thought I heard someone. Good night."

"Good night hyung!" Namjoon waited until his footsteps had faded away, and stepped back towards Jimin was was leaning against the counter, having stood up successfully. He reached under the cupboard and pulled out a washcloth; after wetting it with warm water he lifted Jimin's tear stained face and gently washed away the remnants of before. He waited a minute, to let Jimin calm down a little bit more, and then said, "Ok, Chim-Chim, climb on my back." he crouched slightly, waiting until Jimin's legs wrapped around his waist to stand up and open the door. With the added weight, it was hard not to trip in the dark, but he made it to Jimin's shared bedroom without stumbling once, which counted as a victory any day in his book. He softly opened the door and stepped in. He could feel Jimin's legs starting to slack, and he quickly stepped over to Jimin's bed and turning so that his back was towards the bed, let Jimin gently fall onto it.

"Will you be ok tonight?" he whispered, looking up at Jimin. The other boy looked up, eyes pleading."Could-could you stay?" was the soft reply. Namjoon let a small smile cross his lips, and wordlessly, he pulled back the covers and crawled in, next to Jimin. As he drifted off to sleep, he felt the younger boy press closer to him.

The next morning, when Hoseok woke up, he was surprised to see both Namjoon and Jimin in the same bed. They looked so peaceful he didn't want to disturb them, but he made sure to snap a picture of them, Chimmy pressed into Joonie's side, both fast asleep. The fans would like this one.