One Night, One Day, One Year, One Lifetime

Twelve

In the early days of October, the air around the city was icy. At twilight, the dense layer of fog enveloping the city was reminiscent of the mists swirling around a freezer. Across the night skies, the darkness of the city was eerie, as though the Gods had taken a massive bell and covered the entire world with it. The heavy blackness which blanketed the world seemed to stretch on forever, taking everyone back by surprise.

Alone, I walked on the streets. The chilly wind swept past the roads, yet the leaves on the trees remained evergreen.

I made a call to Dong Xing. He was my childhood friend. I said, let's have a drink together.

After Dong Xing agreed, he soon appeared in front of me, smiling jovially as he said, 'I can't believe this. You've actually come out in the middle of the night for a drink. Aren't you going to spend time with your wife?'

Dong Xing's natural disposition was unruly and uninhibited, and I was unable to match his carefree attitude.

We found a bar. He was a familiar there, and as I took in the unfamiliar scent, my heart began to churn in its uneasiness.

Not long after Dong Xing sat down, someone came forward to strike a conversation with him. It was a regular customer of the bar, and Dong Xing quickly vanished with the newcomer, only reappearing when he was done playing. He took a swig of drink, slowly recovering his breath.

Slumping over the table, he said, 'Say it. What's wrong?'

I was no longer in the mood to pour my heart out, so I just shook my head. 'What could be wrong. It's just a drink – do we need to find so many excuses just like women?'

Dong Xing laughed, the overwhelming liquor in his breath lingering in the air.

I scooped up my jacket and prepared to leave, unable to bear this smell. If I needed to distract myself from my low spirits, I had already achieved it.

'Let's go!'

'So early?' Dong Xing glanced at his watch.

'Jiajing will be worried,' I said. This was the best excuse a man could give when declining to socialise, only, even as I said these words, within my heart, I thought: what would Jiajing be worried about? Worried that I would meet with an accident when I stayed out in the night, or that I would accidentally embroil myself with another woman, or about whether I truly had a so-called mental illness?

'You leave first. I still want to have some fun.'

I left alone. I had only just taken a few steps when Dong Xing's voice suddenly rang from behind me.

'If you're here today because you've fought with your wife, then I should congratulate you.'

I turned to face him, wanting to know the meaning behind his words.

'Because there's never been anger in your marriage. Not because of Jiajing, but because of you, Gao Fei. You've never been angered once throughout your marriage.'

As I inserted my key into the door lock, I was extremely careful. Pregnant women needed much rest, and Jiajing did not have much sleep these days.

I changed my shoes and saw Jiajing the moment I entered the bedroom. She was already in deep asleep, but the bedside table was still littered with the countless documents that she had been perusing.

I ignored them, and kissed her on her forehead. In my heart, I said, 'Jiajing, please believe me. I am not sick.'

I thought of what I had said to Dong Xing before I left.