I'm Here

It's alright

(3rd pov)

Tony had been in his lab when F.R.I.D.A.Y alerted him about Peter's high rated of heartbeats. F.R.I.D.A.Y told him that Peter was on his rooftop with his suit on and he seemed to be in distress. Now, usually Tony wouldn't mind if the increasing beat of the kid's vitals meant that he was excited or because of adrenaline rush, but distress? That's a whole new reason for him to immediately rushed to the rooftop. Once he reached there, he could hear what Peter, his little Spiderling was saying. He had no idea that the kid was having any thoughts like that. He was worried since Peter made no indication that he heard Tony approaching. Thinking that he needed to do something, Tony took a panic yet steady steps towards the Spiderling. He gently pulled Peter towards him to a hug and spoke softly to him.

"Kid, I'm here. It's okay".

"I got you kid".

"I'm here".

Tony rocked himself back and forth gently as he held Peter in his arms. To be honest, Tony himself was shocked that he could be as gentle as he was with Peter now. He kinda expected himself to panic, not knowing what he should do to calm a really upset boy. But he thought, anything was possible if it meant it's for Peter. He could feel Peter calming down in his arms as his breathing pattern steadied and his vitals wasn't as high as before. He felt the kid muttered something too soft for him to hear.

"What was that kiddo? I can't hear you," Tony said gently, not wanting to scare the kid away or make him ended up in another episode. Peter looked up at him then, eyes watery, puffy and red. His cheeks reddened as his lips trembled and his breath started to quickened again as he rambled with his head down.

"I'm-I'm so-I'm so sorry! I-I-I k-keep on I keep on messing up! I couldn't- I couldn't even sleep without having nightmares and panic attack! The Vulture and-and-and th-the-the building c-c-coll-collapsing on me p-plane crashing and Vulture beating me up.. Oh my God I-I-I couldn't breathe! I couldn't get out! alone.. alone.. I was alone.. I thought I was gonna d-d-die.. and n-no one...no one would know..."

To say that Tony was shocked beyond words was an understatement, he had no idea that the kid had a building collapse on him without the high-tech suit Tony made for him. And hell, the kid could have died. Coney Island was even worst, the kid was on the plane and it crashed. Peter could have died all because Tony decided to take the suit away as a punishment. He should have known that with or without the suit, Peter would still be Spiderman. Tony shushed the boy gently, rubbing his back in a comforting manner. Tony felt bad, the guilt that consumed him at that time was beyond anything. Peter Parker, a bright kid who's without a doubt a genius, a kindhearted boy who just wanted to help people, could have died because of Tony's action. Sure, the kid survived, but the traumas of what happened was haunting him. He need to fix this, and fixing things is what he's good at.

"Peter, kiddo, l... look at me please," Peter looked at him again, tears running down his reddened cheeks and it broke Tony's heart to see the usually talkative, hyper, smiling and laughing boy so broken.

"Peter.. I'm sorry" Peter was about to object when Tony raised his hand to stop him from saying anything. "No, this time you need to listen to what I'm about to say. I'm sorry Peter. I shouldn't have taken that suit away from you. I thought it was the right thing to do, I thought it would stop you from going on the case... But I should have known better.. I should have known that no matter what happens, you would still go against the bad guys even without the suit. Because of that, you're suffering from PTSD, panic attacks and hell, you're having nightmares because of it," Tony sighed before continuing, " I know you said that you were nothing without the suit, but you showed me that even without the suit, you are still Spiderman, in a way, it taught you that you don't have to wear the suit to be Spiderman, you are Spiderman because that's who you are. You were Spiderman even before I gave you the advanced suit, Peter. And...I.. well kid, I knew I never said this to you, but I'm proud of you. You did great kid and I promise, I would never ever take that suit away again.. and again, I'm sorry kid...now, you have to deal with... the aftermath.." he sighed again.

Peter was silent the whole time, staring at his mentor, his hero, his.. father figure in silent. Peter never blamed Tony for what happened because he knew that Tony had a good intention. So he did what he thought was right.

"Mr Stark... I-I n-never blamed y-you for wh-what happened," Peter stopped to take a deep breath and let it out slowly to calm himself so that he could talk properly. "I didn't blame you for what happened, I never did. I knew your intentions were good. I understand why you did that and besides, I really didn't plan on going after the Vulture that night.. but.. it turns out, the Vulture, Adrian Toomes was.. was my date's dad..and he.. he knew that I was Spiderman, he put two and two together and he threatened me. I followed him on my own because, I just can't let him do what he wants.. it was my fault that the building collapse on me.. it was my fault because, I'm too weak..I'm just too weak.." Peter looked down and rubbed his eyes harshly when he felt the tears were coming again.

Tony was speechless from what Peter said to him. First, the kid forgave him easily and second, he thought that he was weak? Okay, he needs to step up now and stop the kid from loathing himself. Tony winced slightly when he realized that Peter was just like him. Having doubt on himself, hating himself.

"Peter, listen closely to what I'm gonna say. You are not weak, you survived Peter and you stopped the bad guys-" he was cut off by Peter, "But I'm having nightmares! I have panic attacks and I can't stand closed places because it'll make suffocate! I'm Spiderman for God sake! Nothing should scare Spiderman".

"Peter, I'm Ironman and I have my own nightmares, panic attacks, having episodes of PTSDs," at Peter's wide eyes, he continued, "I still have nightmares when I went through the wormhole, I got triggered when someone tried to touch my arc reactor, and it only got worst after Siberia..." he trailed of, remembering the shield crushing his chest before shaking the thoughts away. "My point is, I'm a hero and I still have those. Being a hero means you need to deal with this kind of aftermaths, Peter. It's okay to be scared of something and you have the rights to be scared. Because you're a human, Peter and human feels scared, hero or not. I will help you out on how to deal with this if you let me, alright?" he asked gently.

Peter stared at him for awhile before nodding and he cursed himself for crying again. "Oh God.. I'm such a crybaby," he said bitterly. Tony smiled sadly at him and pulled him to a hug again. "It's okay to cry Peter. Crying doesn't makes you weak, it helps you to feel stronger afterwards... right now, you just need to let it go, and I'll be here for you," he said soothingly. That was all it takes to make Peter cried out. For the first time in his life, he cried out all the pain he had been hiding alone. He didn't cry when his parent died, he didn't cried as bad as he was now when Uncle Ben died. But now, in Tony's arms, he felt safe enough to let all his guard down and just let the waterworks lose. He cried and cried and cried until he was exhausted. He didn't even realized that he was starting to fall asleep when Tony slowly lifted him up. He was about to dozed off when Tony gently lay him down on his bed in his room. He panicked when Tony made a move to leave. He immediately grabbed Tony's hand.

"Stay.. please?" he pleaded. He didn't want to be alone. He didn't feel safe on his own.

"Sure kid," Tony smiled down at him and let him held his hand. He gently ruffled the boy's hair as he sat on a chair beside the bed. He watched the boy slowly calmed down and closed his eyes. He smiled fondly when the boy visibly relaxed. He vowed to protect the kid no matter what, because to him, Peter was not just an 'intern' or just a mentee. To him, Peter was like his son, and like hell he would let the kid suffer alone. He would help the kid out, he was responsible for what happened after all. He watched the kid slowly falling asleep, and he smiled when Peter looked peaceful.

Looking at Peter makes him feel calm. For once, his chest felt warm and he likes it.