//YOUNGBLOOD//lrh

YOUNGBLOOD

"You used to call me baby, now you're calling me by name."

It started off as just another day without talking to each other. It ended as the first day I really come to except it was over.
-

"Becca, baby, I'm sorry." I mutter in exhaustion while running my hands through my hair.

"You're always sorry." She whispers, huddled up in a corner across from me, hugging her knees close to her chest. "You don't even mean it anymore. We need to stop saying things we don't mean." She gets up and grabs her bag. "I'll be back soon." My eyes advert to the clock that read 3:00 am. "I love you." She presses her lips to my forehead.

As she reached the door, she turned back, awaiting my response. "Luke. I said I love you."

"But you said to stop saying things we don't mean."

--

And so it happens again. Why would anyone in the world drink their life away when they could be with their beautiful girlfriend? Because sometimes, when she'll call out for you, you could hear a part of your heart shatter with the use of your name, and not pet names you give to someone to offer your endearment. Because you feel it slipping and you're the only one trying to hold on. That's why. And this whole thing is just a reoccurring event that takes place every god damn day. She wants me to leave, so I'm gone. She wants me back, there I go. I'm a puppet under her spell but I can't stop. I'm in love with her. She used to love me too. I mean, a part of me believes she still does. It's just, we aren't good for each other. We can't keep holding on.

As I place another empty glass on the table I hear my phone ringing. I see it isn't her, so I don't bother answering. I've counted all the ticks of the clock until it was 6 in the morning. The sun is almost fully risen and I am fully gone. That being the main reason I stopped looking at the time. I couldn't make out what the numbers were anymore.

I heard jingles of keys and the door opening. Rebecca places her bag on the table and keys right next to it. "Again?" She questions my state. I wrap my arms around themselves and rest them on the table, my head falling onto them shortly after. "What's it gonna take with you?"

I shook my head as much as I could without getting dizzy and falling off my chair. "For you to stay." I croak out. In my head it sounded like a bitchy remark, but it uncontrollably came out like a plead. To be fair, I wasn't completely aware of what I was saying or doing but I really wasn't expecting her to come up to me, looking almost as if she were sorry. It isn't until she swipes her thumb across my cheek that I noticed I was crying. "What happened to us?" She asked more to herself than anyone else. I wanted to hold her before she could walk away. I wanted to rest my hands on her hips and hug her so hard that she couldn't get out of my grip. Hug her so she wouldn't want to be out of my grip. But I just couldn't bring myself too it.

She left, walking into our shared bedroom. I stare at the clock and listen attentively to her conversation she's having on the phone. All the incoherent words just jumbled in my messed up and twisted head. All I heard was "baby". That was all I had to hear to see the clock switch to 6:15am. Another quarter on the clock, another bottle.