Mix Tapes » Luke Hemmings

the last mix tape

(this is a letter, not a real life situation like the previous chapter)

August 26, 1982

"You kept all my mixtapes." Was the thought I had when I walked into your room for the first time. I couldn't believe you kept them. I couldn't believe you were talking to me. And I still can't believe that my feelings for you are mutual towards me. Life is sort of unbelievable right now.

It's been one whole year since I first wrote you.

And one hell of a good year that has been. When I first started writing you these letters, I was a shy boy looking for a friend to listen. Now instead of a shy boy, I'm your boyfriend.

I still remember that day you walked into my store. Well my dad's store. I had seen you many times before and noticed you always. But this time was different. This was the first time you noticed me too. You asked me about The Slits LP.

Now you're telling me that I was the reason for you buying it.

You're telling me that you first realised that you loved me on the first day of 1982 -what a date to remember. You tell me that you wrote it into your diary -just in case if we ever got to meet.

And we did. And I'm so glad that we did so.

I really don't know what to say anymore Amaris. You feel like my other half and this year with you has been amazing, even though that half of this year you didn't know me.

I still can't believe you're mine, and I can't believe that we're together. I still have to pinch myself each morning. How could someone so lovely like you, be into a dork like me.

That's what you always call me; a dork. And then I pout and you playfully hit my arm and tell me that I'm a 'cute dork' with an 'exceptional taste in music'.

That makes me happy. You make me happy.

I'm sort of emotional to think that this is going to be the last letter I write to you. I have you right here in my arms -and heart. I could tell you all the things I want to, without having to be afraid that you'll find out who I am. Because you already know who I am -better than anyone else.

This feels like an goodbye, but it isn't because I'm seeing you tomorrow. I'll be handing you this envelope, with one last mixtape in it. Telling you to only read and listen to what's in the envelope when I'm not there. Because I want to recreate the feeling that we had when we hadn't met.

And now you're reading it, and probably wondering why you ever fell in love with me. But I know exactly why I fell in love with you. You walking into the music shop every Saturday noon made my heart drop, and I never knew that one day I would be able to call you mine.

So here we go for one last time.

Affectionately Yours,

Luke