Love Or Liberation

Chapter 11

Later, when the family was sitting in the living room, Elaine's father, who was sitting up straight in an easy chair, said, "I don't see how you could say that the university is profiting from the war or from the suffering of other people."

Elaine was sitting on the couch next to her mother.

"I told you, close to fifty percent of the budget comes from government defense and foreign affairs contracts with the government. The university is part of a consortium that has influenced how the Vietnam war is fought. The university also displaces the residents of the surrounding communities."

Her father said, "But they would probably have the same budget if there was no conflict in Vietnam. The country has to protect its interests. Columbia is one of the best research universities. That is why they have those contracts."

"Well, I'm ashamed to be connected to an institution that supports the war. I care about the effects of my privileges on society."

Elaine's mother, who was sitting next to her on the couch, patted Elaine's knee and said, "So you want to leave Barnard so that you can benefit society?"

"Yes, that's it."

"Well if you leave mid-semester, it will be like flunking your classes. That doesn't serve anyone well or even make a clear statement about anything. Also, to paraphrase a former Dean of Barnard, 'A trained brain can do more for society than an untrained brain.'"

Elaine looked at her mother questioningly. She saw what her mother was saying. Not completing her courses would be a cop out. She would be a flunky. If she did well in her courses while also protesting through SDS what the university was doing, she would be making a clear statement that might be heard and acted on.

Her mother said, "I have a book on the history of Barnard. Let me get it for you. It was a history written for Barnard's Diamond Anniversary in 1964. I think you'll find it interesting."

Elaine said, "A Dean of Barnard said 'A trained brain can do more for society than an untrained brain?'"

She was struck by the statement. Elaine had always identified with her intellect. She didn't want a future of mindless occupations. That was the first thing that she thought of, although it was selfish. She also wanted to put her energy into the good of society, and she could see that she could do more good with the discipline of a college education.

"Yes, she was referring to what students could do for their country during the First and Second World Wars. I think it applies to your situation as well. If you want to have a positive influence on the country or even the world, you will be better able to do so with a college degree."

Elaine's mother got up from the couch and went to the bookcase along a side wall and pulled out a paperback book. "Here, you should read it. Barnard College has increased the educational and life opportunities for women. You should be proud of it. You're getting an education that is equal to Columbia and in fact earns you a Columbia University degree, and that is not a small achievement."

Elaine took the book. "I don't remember ever seeing this book."

"Maybe I should have brought it to your attention when you were applying for entrance, but I was glad you applied and proud that you were accepted."

Elaine's father said, "We can go to the city together tomorrow morning, if you don't mind. You won't even miss any classes."

Elaine's mother said, "Yes, we should all go to bed now and get some sleep."

Elaine's father said, "You are going back to the college tomorrow, aren't you?"

"Yes, I should at least finish this semester. I can be active in calling for change on campus while completing my coursework."

Elaine got up. "Thank you for talking me through this. I was just so upset by what I heard at that meeting tonight. I didn't know what to do."

Her mother got up and said, "You can always come to us to talk about any problem you are having. This will always be your home."

They hugged.

Elaine's father got up and said, "Yes come to us with any problem you need help with. I'm very proud of you, both for being a Barnard student and for wanting to have a positive effect on society. You are very conscientious, and I think you will have a good future, a future that will be good for others as well as for yourself."

He hugged her, too. Then they all went up the carpeted stairs. Elaine was glad to be in her childhood bedroom for the night. She felt comforted about being a Barnard student. Before turning out the light, she looked at the book her mother had given her. Then she got her nightgown from her luggage and changed for bed and turned out the light.

In the morning, Elaine's mother made Elaine's favorite breakfast, pancakes with butter and maple syrup and sausage. Elaine went with her father by train into New York City. She didn't have any classes until the afternoon on Wednesday. When she got to her dorm room, her roommate, Betsy was there.

"Where were you? I would have thought you got arrested last night with the other protesters, but your things were gone!"

"What? The protesters got arrested?"

"Some of them did. I was on the sidelines and didn't get arrested, but my boyfriend did. The protesters stopped traffic and spread cow's blood around and wrestled with the cops."