Say My Name Again 《USUK》✔ Completed

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Arthur has never felt this down before, even when his family abondoned him, or when Mathias left him. This is Alfred. He has the power to bring happiness to his life, or to destroy it.
Now, Alfred has wrecked him all over. His heart hurts and his breathes are shallow and difficult. His hands are balled in a fist to hide his trembling form. His eyes are already hot with rage and tribulation, but he promised to never break infront of Alfred, as he is his guardian and doesn't wants to be a bad example for the younger. Maybe, he doesn't want to show his weakness.

"How come you are so sure?" He cocks an eyebrow and points at Alfred.

"Because I feel it, and I physically saw it. He likes me, alot. He even told me." Alfred is still argueing about Feliks and their life together.

"And you know him?"
He does really love the latter, but he isn't aware of anything completely. Feliks isn't the one shown by his angelic appearance, he is a different person when anger hits him. He can get brutal and relentless, too. Ivan was right, Feliks is a good guy, but Alfred doesn't know him completely. The russian had told him somethings about the polski, but Alfred was deaf and blind to feel it, or to see it through his boyfriend's tense reaction once around the pale russian. He doesn't know the history between them, neither their relationship. Who is Toris?
He has heard his name twice while butting between their conversations, still he understood only the words that were said in english.
Once he heard Feliks said something about Toris..... Lithuania...... betray. He didn't get it totally, but the joint of words describes the story of a guy named Toris, who comes from Lithuania. That wrapped everything, and he never asked about it. He didn't need to, but Alfred is still curious about the words that Ivan had said. How come Ivan knows him so well, when they act to useasy around eachother, as if they were to meet for the first time.
Other than Ivan and Feliks' relationship, and the Toris guy, Alfred know the polish very well.
He knows him more than very well, atleast he believes so.

"Yes, I know him. He is from Poland, but lives in England for 12 years. He is fluent in Polish, Russian, English and French-" Alfred starts to characterize Feliks, but Arthur interupts him.

"Alfred, by knowing him, I mean: how much do you trust him. You've seen him only for three weeks and yet you come back in love. How much do you know about his back ground, his past life?" Alfred has never thought about his background, was it important? Ofcourse not. He hates it when people get are firey and inflamed about the life of past. Why doesn't people just focus on future and the present life?
Maybe that person was a criminal in the past, but now they have changed. They are a good person and trust worthy, still would people push him away just because they have a bad mark on their identity. He doesn't understand it. Some goes with Feliks, his past life was never asked because they never needed it. They didn't talk about it. They are in good terms even without owning a journal of muserable mistakes of their pasts. They live in present time, and Alfred will list their good moments together. As he did it with Arthur himself.

"I think it is not important, I am a new beginning to him, and he is to me. I don't need his past. Besides, it is not like I know yours after living together for 5 years. Am I not right?!" Arthur holds on to the couch and presses his finger onto it.
He has has enough of this discussion, and would likely not talk about his own history.
He licks his lips and looks at the younger from under his bushy eyebrows.

"What is it? Another question? Isn't the interrogation already over?" Alfred is losing his temper, they were talking about how he got injured and who were the guys, who helped him; but now they are nearly fighting .

"Calm yourself-" Arthur says in a hushed voice.
"How?! You aren't worried about my health, you could atleast give me a plaster for my gash and cuts, instead you are asking me the question I barely have an answer for, because I never think about them." It took Arthur a few seconds to notice the smaller cuts on the american's face. He was so self-centered that he forgot about him all over.

"I am sorry, Alfred. It is just-"
"Just you don't trust me. Feliks, Ludwig, Lovino, and Ivan trust me, even we aren't family. I don't live with them, don't sleep in their houses. But they trust me. Why can't you do the same?" Alfred's tone is cutting between every words, as if he is resisting against his tears and crying. His face is all red and eyes are fierce. But, his words hurt Arthur. They are so bold and true, that hurt him to the heart. And again, Arthur is the one losing the fight he has started. First Mathias, now Alfred.

"I am sorry. Alfred. I trust you, and you know it very well." He doesn't want the younger to get distressed anymore. For that, he shufts closer and pulls Alfred to his embrace. Lately, they hadn't hugged eachother. At first, Alfred tries to push him away but gives up. Then Arthur lie his head on his shoulder and arrange his chin on his side. If it were a normal situation, Alfred would've snapped away because it tickled him, but now, he only want Arthur to stay where he is. To feel him like years ago, and to know, that there is actually someone who cares about him and trusts him. Who supports him with all his decisions. Alfred knows he had made alot of mistakes, and fighting is the taboistic guilt, and that is disappointing. But, Arthur doesn't ask him about the fight. He is asking about Feliks and it is not comfortable to pour out all your personal life choices at once, infront of him. Wishes he could lie, but he is a terrible lier.

"Are you ok?" Alfred is ok, he shake his head.
"Don't worry. I trust you. I'll stay by your side, even if you sometimes forget about me." Arthur suits his tired muscles and the pain on his chest. His words means alot. Arthur is the only person who knows how to calm him.

"Alfred, listen. I know I am not a perfect man, but know this truth; I will always support and protect you. And even if you forget about a person named Arthur, I'll remember you. So promise me one thing..." He talks calmly and collected. These words are uttered from his heart and honesty is indicated with in every alphabetes.

"To know who you are and who I am, and when you are gone, don't forget my name." Alfred's arm shots upwards and return the hug, suddenly. He will never forget him, he doesn't want. And he will always remember the englishman's name. Arthur quirks a sad lopsided smile and strokes his wheat(now sun bleached) blond hair. It feels good to have Alfred in his arms, and how much he missed this sensation. He loves it.

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Sorry for the mistakes. I'll update again, today. Muahhahaha.
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~kookie