Thin Line

Chapter 11

I stare at my body in the mirror.

After what Justin said to me, I am seeing myself a bit differently.

Suddenly, I can see my ribs more, and bones in my shoulders that I wasn't even aware existed.

My collarbones are very prominent.

My thighs aren't even close to touching.

Maybe I'm not okay.

But I am thin.

My goal has been reached.

There is no point in stopping now.

I can't put anymore weight on.

I pull out my phone.

I should apologize to Justin.

He was right, maybe, and he was just trying to help me.

His intentions were good, although maybe his approach wasn't.

But was he really right?

I am still the same me I was three hours ago.

I am still fat, I always will be.

I should just stay away from him.

Before I can stop myself, I have opened the phone, and I press his name.

After a few rings, he picks up.

"Sierra?" He questions.

"I am sorry." I say, at that, tears leave my eyes as I start sobbing.

"Sierra, calm down, are you alright?" He asks me.

"No, you were right, I'm not." I admit, attempting to make a joke of the situation, a very bad joke at that.

"Sierra, it's okay." He tells me.

"What do I do?" I ask him.

What happens now.

Maybe I am not okay.

•

"Oh my gosh, Sierra Stevens, it is a pleasure to finally meet you, and in my own home as well?" Justin's little brother, Caleb, says to me as I enter their house.

"Hi, it's nice to meet you too." I tell him.

"And as if you don't already know, your outfits everyday are simply perfect, and your hair is amazing." He tells me.

My hair is also falling out.

"Thank you." I say to him.

"Hello, you must be Sierra, I hear so much about you." A blonde woman says, walking into the room.

"Really?" I ask.

Why would she hear about me?

"Of course." She says.

"We better go work on our project." Justin says, bringing me up to his room.

We both told our parents we had an English project to work on.

In reality, he just wanted to talk to me about the mental breakdown I had on the phone yesterday after school.

And this is how I wanted to spend my Saturday.

"I told you my brother loves you." He tells me when we enter his room, him closing the door behind him.

"I thought you were exaggerating." I admit. "Maybe your brother was meant to be born a black girl." I joke.

"Probably." He responds.

Suddenly the room goes quiet.

"Sierra, what happened?" He asks me, breaking the silence as I sit next to him on his bed,

"What do you mean?" I question.

"Why did you suddenly change your mind? You were so sure I was wrong." He reminds me.

"After taking in what you said, I looked in the mirror." I start. "And I just saw myself differently. Suddenly, I could clearly see my ribs, I mean I have been able to for a while, but they just really stuck out to me, and there are bones sticking out of my shoulders, there is like a foot between my thighs, and that morning I had looked in the mirror, and all I saw was fat." I admit to him, struggling with each word.

"Sierra-" He starts to say.

"But I still don't think there is anything wrong with me." I admit.

"Sierra, you are wrong, you aren't healthy." He tells me.

"Justin, you will never understand. You will never know what I am going though. I have spent months trying to get down in weight, and now I am finally seeing the progress I was blind of. Before I had seen myself the same way, and suddenly I can see all the work I have put into this process paying off." I tell him.

He doesn't get it.

"Sierra, this isn't healthy." He tells me.

"I don't care Justin, I want to be thin, it is all I want, I don't care what happens, I just want to be thin." I argue.

"Dinner is in twenty minutes!" His mom calls up.

"Did you tell her I was staying for dinner, to eat?" I ask him, how could he?

"No, Sierra, I would never do that, she must have just assumed?" He tells me.

"You can't force me to eat." I respond, packing up my belongings that I had thrown on his floor.

"Sierra, I promise I didn't, I would never try and force you to do something you didn't want to." He says in a very convincing tone.

"Really? You are the one telling me my habits are unhealthy, so you are trying to change them." I accuse him.

"Sierra, I promise I told her nothing. But what happens in the future? Do you really want to set this example for your sister?" He asks me.

"Hannah will be fine." I fire back.

"This isn't a good example for her. You are going to starve yourself to death, Sierra." He tells me as I finish grabbing all my things.

"Then just let me."

At that, I exit his room, followed by his house.

I've been eating really bad lately and I feel awful.

So I'm currently sitting in my bed eating spinach.

Also like, there is this kid in a few of my classes who I have discussed in a ton of authors notes in my last couple of books, not this one, I don't think.

Anyway, this kid is a huge Trump supporter, hates feminism and basically anyone who isn't a straight male Trump supporter(at least he's not racist though, or at least he has black and Asian friends that I know).

Today this kid goes, "rape isn't even that big of a deal, it's just a part of life, people just need to get over it."

I wish I was not serious.

I don't know anymore.

Also I didn't get the job due to me not being 18 yet.