Rain and Olive

rain//5

I wanted to say something. Maybe like "I'm sorry" or "how could you?" or "please don't leave me". But, those didn't come out. I knew the truth. All I wanted to say was, "I already forgave you. Even though I didn't need to. I already fell in love with you all over again."

When I think of Olive many, many memories come to mind. My favorite one is a time when we first started dating. It was a cold day and Olive and I were spending the day in the library. He doesn't like reading, but he knew it was my favorite activity. I remember I was laying in a bean bag when Olive almost tackled me. "There's snow! It's snowing!" He cried. The people around us shushed him and Olive grabbed my hand and begged me to go outside. We both raced outside into the snow like little children. We twirled around and kissed. It was like we were endless.

Thoughts like that were toxic to me. The good memories burned. They didn't make me sad like they used to. That's why they're toxic. All they do is make me want him back.

I never thought us ending had truly effected Olive. But, it had. It didn't really change anything, however I realized one thing: our souls still felt the same.

As I entered the apartment, Amethyst bombarded me with questions about Olive. I shrugged off the questions and hid in my room. Amethyst, however, wasn't going to let me go that easy. She knocked on my door as soon as I closed it.

As she entered she asked, "How was it? How was he?"

"I'm so lucky," I whispered and sat on the edge of my bed.

"How so?" She pressed.

"I'm so lucky to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard," I closed my eyes and took a shaky breath.

Amethyst sat beside me and placed her arm around me. "You've been loved. That already makes you the most lucky girl in the whole world," she murmured.

"Yes," a tear fell down my cheek and I brushed it away with my finger. "Always."

I tried to push Olive out of my head. But, I think he lives there. It hurt me slightly. I went to work with Olive in my head. I drove with him in the car with me. He smiled and placed his hand in mine. Of course, it was all where he was just in my head.

I loved Olive too much. Maybe it was simply unhealthy to love that much. But, I wanted him so badly, so strongly and I didn't know how to make it stop.

I pulled a blanket over myself and Amethyst went back to doing whatever she was doing before I had come home. I had school work to do before work. Although, it's not like I could focus on school work at all.

I did school work in my bed for a couple hours. I barely finished anything. My soul was else where. Amethyst brought me a tea when it was time for me to head to work.

As I ducked out of the apartment, I tripped over a threshold. I was falling and the ground came closer and closer, until it stopped. I was caught. I looked up to a boy with eyes full of intensity and heavy set boots.