I don't wanna get close to anyone anymore because I get so many nightmares about losing them... in the end of the dream, I've hurt them some way or another, or I've driven them off, or else they simply walk away without a second glance. And there's nothing I can do or could do, and I think that's what turns it into a nightmare..
————————————————————
In my nightmares, someone else is calling you theirs.. or else you're trying to save me but my parents step in the way.. but never in my nightmares has it ever been you that has hurt me. It's usually me, who hurts you, and that fact is slowly killing me.
————————————————————
So many of my friends are getting hurt and I can't do anything to make it stop. I can't help them, I can't prevent it, I can do exactly, precisely nothing. And it hurts so bad to have to sit back and watch the people I love perhaps more than myself and my 'family' suffer in the same flames I've been through many times before. They shouldn't need to feel this pain. I feel that I should be the one to take it for them, that they should be set free from their chains of endurance to go and be what they were born to be. They should follow their dreams and leave their burdens on my shoulders. I am already chained down forever by this wretched PTSD, so what's a few more worlds on my back.
