The Vagrant King

Chapter 35

Over the next few days, with the help of Percy's sleeping elixirs, Julian drifted in and out of sleep. During the rare moments of consciousness, Julian thought about the things that Regulus liked. He liked Julian to smile, to make jokes, to show desire, to wear fine clothes. Regulus used to say that he liked Julian best when he was soft, but Julian knew this meant docile and affectionate.

Julian spent most of his time thinking about Regulus, though Regulus rarely visited him. Regulus came in the morning or late evening, when Julian was asleep. Percy said that Regulus inquired about Julian's health, ensured Percy had all he needed to care for Julian, and then made some excuse for leaving before Julian woke. Julian couldn't understand it. Regulus had been so angry at Julian for running away. Why did he now do everything possible to avoid Julian?

Julian was not allowed to leave his bedroom, just as before, and he fell into his old slump of despair and boredom. Percy visited in the mornings and evenings, to check on Julian, apply healing salves, and change his bandages. Some afternoons, Gregory visited Julian. He often brought cards to play with or cider from the kitchen. He only stayed for an hour or two, and he didn't talk much, but Julian enjoyed these clandestine visits immensely. Gregory had been very nice to Julian since their return. Julian suspected that Gregory felt guilty about his role in the beating.

After another day of sleeping through one of Regulus' visits, Julian didn't drink the sleeping elixir that night. He poured it into an empty teacup on his bedside, when Percy's back was turned, and then passed the empty vial to Percy with a polite smile. He didn't know if Regulus required Percy to give Julian the sleeping potions, and Julian could've tried to refuse it. But Percy followed all of Regulus' orders silently, and Julian didn't trust him one bit.

That night, Julian had a fitful night of sleep, the worst night of sleep since returning to the castle. He couldn't fall asleep, and watched the curtains drifting in the wind for an agonizing long amount of time. When he finally fell asleep, he woke a few hours later, hollering from a nightmare and shivering from a cold sweat. He fell back asleep, and woke up around dawn.

In the morning, Julian bathed and dressed in a white chemise and linen trousers. He tugged on a pale blue doublet, and put Regulus' ring on his finger. When Percy came, Julian was sitting on the bed and waiting for him. As Percy applied a new salve to Julian's back, Julian asked to go for a walk in the garden. "Ask the King," Percy replied, which was the answer to every question. Ask the King for permission to leave the castle. Ask the King for permission to leave your bedroom. Ask the King for permission to sit, stand, eat, breathe.

After Percy applied new bandages, Julian sat in the windowsill, sipped his foul-tasting pain tonic, and gazed at the Red Mountains. With a few pillows behind him, Julian could sit comfortably. Julian's pain has lessened considerably, and he could now lean against soft surfaces without his eyes watering.

As Julian finished his pain tonic, he perked up when he heard the door open. Regulus came in, wearing a fitted, black vest over a linen tunic and wool trousers tucked into knee-high riding boots. He raised an eyebrow at Julian, already awake and dressed—a rare sight, so early in the morning. Percy bent his knee respectfully at the sight of Regulus, and Julian pushed himself off the windowsill.

Julian moved forward and flung his arms around Regulus's neck, embracing him tightly. "Morning, Regulus," Julian whispered into Regulus' neck, making sure his voice and touch was soft.

Regulus stiffened, then slid his arms around Julian's waist and embraced him too. Julian should kiss Regulus, if he wanted to really get in Regulus' good graces, but it would be inappropriate with Percy in the room.

Percy raised his eyebrows at the warm greeting, but hid his surprise by bowing his head and studying his tinctures.

Regulus drew away first. "Feeling better, are you?" He asked, looking down at Julian. He hesitated, then rested a hand on Julian's hip.

"Much better." Julian said, and he smiled up at Regulus. "Will you sit with me?"

Regulus nodded, and Julian took his hand and led him further into the room. He sat down on the edge of the bed, and Regulus sat down next to him. Julian interlaced their fingers and rested their hands on Regulus' thigh.

Regulus glanced down at their hands, then at Percy. "How is he healing?" He asked Percy.

Julian bowed his head as he tried to calm his racing heart, and focused his attention on holding Regulus's hand. He's not angry, he reminded himself. Regulus wasn't drunk, and Julian hadn't misbehaved. There was nothing to be afraid of. Still, Regulus was acting aloof, and Julian was petrified this was a precursor for something worse.

"He's healing well. The Veneroi are a durable sort." Percy said, latching his leather satchel shut. "He'll be fine in no time."

"Any pain?" Regulus asked, though he was still looking to Percy for answers.

"A little less, each day." Percy replied. "Julian, are you in pain now?"

"No. No pain." Julian said, when Regulus looked at him. He forced a smile, and tried to say something charming. "Percy brews magical elixirs. I feel as if I'm in the clouds, all the time."

The corner of Regulus' mouth turned up, then he laughed quietly. He squeezed Julian's hand. "Is that so?"

"Aye," Julian said. Finding Regulus' lingering gaze too much to bear, he averted his eyes.

Percy lifted his satchel and moved it over his shoulder. "I'll return in the evening to bring Julian another tonic from the clouds, sire," Percy said, bowing deeply. 

Julian felt his heart drop to his stomach at the thought of being alone with Regulus. He knew it would happen eventually, and there was nothing to do about it now. Julian watched Percy leave, and suddenly wished for the old man to return. Julian grimaced as the door closed behind Percy.

"You still wear the ring I gave you," Regulus observed, lifting Julian's hand to better look at it. "I thought you would've sold it."

"Too valuable to sell." Julian said. "I couldn't bear to part with it."

Regulus smiled faintly. He had long, dark eyelashes that framed his brown eyes, and his gaze flickered down to Julian's lips. He's going to kiss me, Julian thought. Julian instinctively leaned in closer.

Rather abruptly, Regulus released Julian's hand and stood up, smoothing down his vest.

Left in the lurch, Julian's eyebrows raised. He looked at Regulus, who was already walking to the door. "You're leaving?"

"We're pheasant hunting. I'm late as it is." Regulus said simply, sliding his hand into his trouser pockets and pulled out his black leather riding gloves.

We? Had Regulus found some young lord, who was content to hunt and drink and languish in fine clothes all day? Someone he could trust would return to the castle eagerly at the end of the hunt. If he had found a new lover that occupied all of his time, why was Julian still here?

Julian rose to his feet too. "Would you like to go for a walk in the gardens? Like we used to," Julian said, and the desperation in his voice was not an act. "After your hunt, perhaps."

Please let me see the sun, would've been a more fitting ask.

"We lock the garden gates now," Regulus said with a mean sneer, as he tugged on his riding gloves.

Julian winced. "N-no, that's not..." Julian trailed off awkwardly, wringing his hands. "We haven't spent time together in ages."

"Well, that's not really my fault, is it?" Regulus said through his teeth.

Julian felt a twinge of despair. Everything he said seemed to be making things worse. Regulus turned to the door, and Julian stepped forward.

"Regulus, I'm sorry," Julian said, a little suddenly. "You know that, right? I told you how sorry I was... about all of it."

Regulus nodded slightly. "I know." He said, before slipping through the door. Julian heard Regulus slide the lock into place behind him. Julian was certain that his was the only chambers in the castle that locked on the outside.

Julian turned and fell onto his stomach on the bed. He grabbed one of the goose-feather pillows clad in royal blue velvet, pressed his face into it, and screamed.