Phil still couldn't believe how Pj had managed to convince him to choose chemistry in first place.
He had failed it in the past years and he would definitely fail it this time as well.
There was literally no point in staying in the course, but Phil still walked into the classroom for the last period.
"This is the last time" he sighed.
"That's what you say every time, but then you're too lazy to ask the secretary to swap your courses" Pj chuckled, sitting down on his usual seat.
When Phil was about to sit down next to him, he noticed Dan sitting alone in the corner by himself. Some people stared at the brown haired boy, but no one dared to sit next to the him.
Phil couldn't imagine how he must've felt, when all his classmates, former friends and best friends left him in his darkest time.
He must've felt alone before, but now he actually was.
"Sit next to him" Pj whispered, nudging Phils arm "I'm not gonna listen to your bullshit anyways."
Phil rolled his eyes with a light smile on his lips. He would've felt bad for just leaving Pj to go sit next to Dan.
He walked over to the table in the furthest corner, putting his hands on the wooden surface.
"May I sit here?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
Dan looked up, glanced at Pj for less than a second and then moved his bag from the chair, with a light chuckle.
Phil sat down, putting a yellow, in doodles covered binder and a pen on the table. Even if chemistry wasn't the most boring course, it was certainly the one he couldn't particularly in at all.
"I see you love chemistry" Dan smiled, pointing at a cat like creature.
"Who doesn't?" Phil joked, making big eyes in excitement.
"I actually like it."
"For real? I'm baffled."
"Yeah, I don't know why, I'm just a nerd" he let out a soft laugh.
Phil couldn't help himself but assume that Dan and Pj had chosen chemistry together as it was the favorite subject of both of them.
"Well I'm a nerd as well, but in a whole other dimension"
"You're a video game nerd, I could tell the moment we first met" Dan scoffed jokingly.
"How?"
"You have the zelda triforce on your bag" his tone was ironically serious.
"Oh right, big giveaway" Phil laughed.
"Lester, Howell - shut it!" Mrs Meyer commanded.
They looked at each other for a second, suppressing a laugh, then stared at the blackboard, trying to follow the lesson.
Phil opened his binder, so he could make some notes. Just writing down whatever the teacher said, it didn't make any sense to him anyways.
"Phil?" Dan whispered.
"Yeah" he didn't take his eyes off the blackboard.
"Could you" he hesitated "could you send me your notes later?"
Phil turned around, eyeing the brown haired boy, who seemed even more wretched than usual.
He looked down at Dans notes, which were just illegible letters and words that could've been written by a five year old.
"You're left handed" Phil concluded a little perplexed.
He nodded sheepishly.
"Mine aren't really good, but sure, I'll send them to you."
"Thanks" Dan smiled, revealing a light dimple.
Phil turned back to his notes, trying to write everything important down clearly.
Trying to ignore the thoughts that rushed through his mind for a second.
But he felt bad for Dan. He felt pity for the boy next to him, staring at his hand, not able to write down anything.
And Dan felt dumb and useless.
He wouldn't be able to decipher anything he wrote, not even after months of training.
He felt as incompetent as when his recovery had started.
Being able to walk some steps without collapsing didn't feel like a victory. Moving one finger at a time, when he used to be able to play difficult piano pieces, felt like failing the whole world.
And now, that he had to ask Phil to send him the notes he took, made him feel dumb.
Something so easy, something he could do his whole life, was now an obstacle.
Everything was.
He looked over at Pj.
He still had the brown curly hair, the piercing blue-green eyes and the same occupied look on his face during lessons.
But now, he was across the room and not right next to Dan.
He never understood what had happened.
If it was his or their fault. If they lost contact because of his suicide attempt or not. There was so much room for speculations due to the gap in his memories. Everything from two months before May 22nd was erased from his mind.
Dan couldn't remember or understand what had happened between them.
But he missed his best friends more than being able to write, than walking, than basically anything.
