Bad Boy's Heaven

Chapter 1: Welcome to my life

A/N  I usually do these things at the end but I just wanted to warn you! This book containt some serious bad words, underage drinkingl, fightings and some deep deep emotions!!! There are good stuff, so please GIVE THIS BOOK A CHANCE <3 

I would really appreciate if you comment, vote, fan just let me know what are you thinking ;) 

xxx Sabina xxx
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I wake up and stare at my boring as fuck ceiling. My whole room is white the most boring colour ever. If you knew me you would think my room would be black or some other dark colour with posters all around the room, but the white bare walls remind me of her. I wonder if this is what she saw last when she decided to leave me.

It’s not that I blame her or anything I just miss her, more than I can take. Pain is a funny thing. You would expect that hurting my bones would cost me more pain in my daily fights, but the pain of her not being here is much, much worse. I blink thinking that it’s been a while since I last saw her. The scariest thing is not to remember her. Her being forgotten, that is what scares me the most. Not losing my life in a bike accident or breaking a dozen bones. No.

It’s the second week of my senior year, but this will be my first day. Let’s just say that I really can’t be bothered to go there. Who wants to repeat the whole senior year anyways? Then again I remember you. You saying how much you wanted me to graduate no matter what.

Clenching my jaw I try to motivate myself for the first day. I try to find inspiration to go but I know that the school doesn’t offer me enough or the least that could make me even smile. I have no friends because I don’t need them. All the people that used to be close are in university given up on me completely. In my opinion they made the right choice of abandoning me.  

I said that I will repeat my senior year but it really will be like going for the first time. Last year I only visited school to make a prank on the principal or go to toilet ‘cause nothing was close besides school when I was driving. All in all you could count my attendance with fingers using just one hand.

So yeah you can totally feel how I am bursting with joy about going to school. I really hate all the shitty people there. I can deal with rumors cause I don’t give a flying fuck about them, people just don’t know the truth so I can easily ignore them. It is the continuous reminder of expecting seeing you in the same classrooms or halls that will haunt me.  Because I know I will never see you not only in school but anywhere for that matter.

But I know that I promised you to graduate so I will do it for you only for you.  I almost smile when I think of you seeing me now. You would seriously punch me for my reckless ways of living since you left. But your leaving caused me to turn into a stone. Sometimes only late at night I think if I ever be able to smile again.  

“Damien!” I hear my little sister who is now a junior in the same high school shouting my name. I really don’t even try to answer. All of my large family thinks I will get ‘better’ soon enough. I really don’t care what they implied when they used the word ‘better’ and I wouldn’t even bother to ask.

“Damien? You will be late.” I heard the soft voice of my sister again only this time a lot closer for my liking. She was standing behind my door. I knew why she didn’t open the door. The last time she did I yelled at her and didn’t spoke to her in weeks not that I usually speak to my family much. Sometimes I really want to be her favourite older brother again, but that will never happen ‘cause I closed them all out. Well she still has our oldest brother for all that anyways she doesn’t really need me.  

I finally stood up and started to get ready; I guess the sooner it starts the faster it will be over. That will be my motto for the whole senior year.

You may wonder why I am still even living at home if I clearly don’t care about anything. Well, I do care but I hide it too well so I know I will never be hurt. Loving someone only cases you pain. That’s why I let all go. I do have my own apartment, but I stay at home sometimes only for my mom.

Mom.

Her warm brown eyes didn’t change at all when she looks at me even though I changed. She still looks at me with love and hope. Sometimes I hate looking at her seeing all that love she holds for me. However, she still is my mother the woman who gave me life and no matter how shitty it has become I am still her miracle as she calls all her children.  I thought many times about leaving or even ending it all, but then my mom warm brown eyes always stops me. I only live for her and my mom. They are the two main reasons why I am not six feet under.