redamancy | yoonmin

six

「park jimin's pov 」

after the dinner with yoongi hyung and taehyung, i finally arrived at my own apartment and put all of my stuff on the couch before sitting on it, feeling relaxed as the unbelievably soft cushion sank down below my butt. it was almost midnight and i stayed in their apartment for a while to comfort yoongi hyung. my heart became brittle when i saw him cry for the first time, and i couldn't do about it but to patt him at the back and cheer him up.

for me, i felt like it wasn't enough. i knew that yoongi hyung had experienced getting anxiety attacks every now and then which made me worried. how come he could overcome those himself? what could be the cause of it? why did anxiety enter a good, kind-hearted person like him?

i frowned and was about to enter my bedroom when i saw my sony a9 camera on my desk with my laptop where i edit my youtube videos. behind the laptop was the flexible camera stand and the microphone that i used when recording my videos. suddenly, another imaginary lightbulb popped in my head that made me widen my eyes at the idea that i just thought. i missed doing a youtube video; ever since i applied on an online college course, i went on a short hiatus because i couldn't multitask everything at the same time. walking towards the desk, i held my camera cautiously, and uttered, "what if..."

-●-

「min yoongi's pov 」

my eyes were fixated at my laptop as i was concentrating on the new song i'm currently working on. i was trying to make the right beats and tune for the song, which was the most struggling part of making music. sometimes, it took me almost a month to figure them out but when i felt very motivated, it only took me less than three days to finish it.

sighing, i took out my headphones and rubbed my eyes frustratingly. i stared at my on-going work before saving it and i lay my back on my chair to relax for a few minutes. i've been in my studio for almost three hours and i felt very hungry. before i could stand up and go to the kitchen, someone knocked five times on the door and i turned around, a bit startled.

"come in," i uttered and the door automatically opened, revealing taehyung, carrying a bowl of hot bibimbap, kimchi, and a glass of iced tea on one tray.

taehyung let out a rectangular smile and said, "good afternoon, hyung! you haven't eaten breakfast, so i ordered takeout food for you since i don't know how to cook," he placed the tray on the end table beside my desk carefully. "i hope you'll like it!"

i smiled shyly and scratched the back of my neck, "t-thank you, tae." he nodded in return and walked towards the door, but stopped when he held the doorknob. i raised my eyebrows and added, "what is it?"

he turned around and looked at me, "hyung, if you have free time, i recommend you to watch jimin's new video on youtube. you might need it." taehyung smiled and left.

what was he talking about? was the first thought that popped into my head after he closed the door. i swiveled in my chair and went on youtube, searching jimin's name. the first thing i saw was his account that had three million subscribers and twenty-two videos. my eyes widened and my mouth slightly opened in shock. i clicked on his videos and saw his newest video that made me curious. "I'M BACK! | Park Jimin" was the title of the video and it was ten minutes long. my cursor led to the video and i slowly clicked it before it loaded.

i grabbed my bowl of bibimbap and a spoon before putting on my headphones. the video played and it showed him, waving his hand and said, "hello, everyone! it's ya boi, park jimin and i'm back after a short hiatus!" his angelic voice was heard clearly on my headphones, giving me goosebumps. i started eating and watched intently to the video as jimin continued talking, "so the reason why i took a break from making vlogs is that i finally took a college course online and i can now continue my education. i really need to focus on both studies and work and yes, it is pretty difficult to balance them. yesterday, i wasn't feeling very well but right now, i'm doing fine. shoutout to my best friend, taehyung and his roommate, yoongi hyung! thank you for helping me!"

i blushed when he mentioned my name. the way my name slipped out of his mouth made my heartbeat go faster than ever. what is this feeling? jimin cleared his throat and uttered, "anyway, i won't be doing a mukbang or a dance video today which is odd, i know, but i'll just sit here and do a little talking. actually, this video serves as a message of positivity for everyone out there who's going through a lot right now like me [chuckles]."

"well, i know i'm not the only one who is having a hard time right now. i mean, i may be a cheerful person but i also have some obstacles to face in my life, too. i also experience pain, sadness, frustration and a lot of negative stuff since i'm also a human." he gulped and resumed, "people may be facing their own different challenges in their life right now. but some of those challenges weren't just physical ones like work or school. it could also be emotional ones, like anxiety or depression."

my heart started to twist a little and i took a deep breath to subside the small pain on my chest. "i sincerely apologize if you feel triggered right now, but trust me, i do hope that this message helps." all of a sudden, his beautiful smile immediately cured the pain that i felt just now. does he have superpowers? "i, for sure, also get anxious and insecure sometimes. it may be a struggle, but one way to overcome it is to open up to someone you really trust. we should be very careful on who to open up with because choosing the wrong person may lead to bad consequences."

"don't hesitate! it's okay. no matter what, always hope for better days to come despite how many sad days we have. if you feel like you can't do it, or if you feel like you can't do it anymore, take a break and escape from your problems for a while before standing up and continue running. life is like an endless race, so rest as much as you can before going back to your own pace."

"my boss and friend in the cafe i work at aka namjoon hyung told me this before, "i think the biggest love we're all searching for is the love for one's self. so, i mean like, if you wanna love others i think you should love yourself first." it's never too late to love yourself, guys. i know we doubt ourselves a lot and we get insecure with ourselves, but confidence is one way on how to love yourself! you may not agree with this but i admit, you are beautiful. inside and out. it's okay if you have flaws because all of us aren't even perfect. we may be lacking something, but we are all still beautiful."

for some reason, my eyes started to form tears. my vision was about to be blurry until jimin said the words that hit me hard.

"i hope you'll be happy someday, and love yourself completely, because that's what i want to see, you know?"

i silently stared at his laptop with tears running down my cheeks as i looked at the dark haired boy, showing a wide smile that made his eyes disappear for a moment. the smile that can cure diseases. the smile that's much brighter than the sun itself. the smile that can make people smile in an instant.

the smile that's my new favorite.

the smile that i would want to see everyday.

"...i know."