redamancy | yoonmin

eight

「park jimin's pov 」

it was nearly midnight, and i was lying in my bed while staring at the plain ceiling above me. it was weird, my heart was still beating insanely since this afternoon and i couldn't even focus well at walking. what is this feeling? i thought as i took deep breaths, remembering what yoongi hyung wrote on the note he just gave.

this is new. i've never seen him being like that. i mean, why did he do that? a truckload of thoughts entered my head and i started messing up my hair like an idiot. "aish!" oh my god, stop, jimin! you have work tomorrow and you must sleep!

sighing, i grabbed my phone from the end table and browse on my social media accounts. i was busy checking my fans' comments and replying to some of their posts on instagram, and i even decided to post a picture of my lamp on my story with the caption, "잠을 잘 수가 없다 :(".

tons of fans messaged me to rest and even gave me ways how to fall asleep slowly, so i did some of those but eventually didn't work at all. i frowned and shifted on my position, facing sideways while still looking at my phone. it was new to me, honestly; because of one little note from the guy i like, i couldn't sleep. it was driving me crazy, and none of the guys who chased after me did something like that.

i was about to turn off my phone when an unknown number called me. raising my eyebrow, i curiously answered and shifted back to my previous position as i placed my phone beside my ear. "hello?" i asked.

it was nothing but complete silence. "uh, hello? who's this?" i asked again, but there was no response. i patiently waited for a couple of minutes until i uttered, "if this is a prank, then i will end this call."

"wait..." a soft voice came from the other line, which almost made me stop breathing. "i-i'm sorry. it's me, yoongi."

my heart that was beating very fast became faster than ever. my eyes widened as i hugged my pillow tightly. "oh! hi, hyung. why did you call?" i replied and added, "is there something wrong?"

"i just— i-i mean—"

i interrupted him by saying, "relax, hyung. take a deep breath first." it was very quiet on the other line, but i could hear him inhale deeply and exhale after. yoongi hyung cleared his throat and spoke up, "it's just that... i-i think i'm having an insomnia right now."

"why is that so, hyung?" i asked calmly.

"i don't know, honestly. there's a lot of thoughts in my head and it fills me up." seconds later, i could hear his breath becoming shaky, which somehow worried me.

i have to do something, i thought and asked again. "hyung, is there anything i can do to help?"

"o-oh, no it's oka—"

"you do know that it's not, hyung. please, say the word and i'll do it for you." i uttered in a relaxed, reassuring tone, hoping it could calm him down. to be honest, i didn't care if i sleep late at this point. it may be risky but who cares? as long as yoongi hyung can sleep well, then i'm okay with it. 

patiently waiting for yoongi hyung to reply, he finally answered. "c-can you please sing? for me?"

my eyes widened at the unexpected request. well, singing was my passion along with dancing and making vlogs but i wasn't quite confident with my vocals. sometimes, my voice would crack or not fit the whole concept of the song, which was why i only post song covers occasionally because i really wanted to make them perfect and it took hours to do so.

i took a deep, quiet breath and uttered, "of course, hyung. what do you want me to sing?"

yoongi hummed for a bit and said, "i think y-you should pick the song to make you comfortable." i heard him shuffle on his bed, waiting for me to start singing.

even though i knew he couldn't see me, i nodded in response and adjusted my position while preparing myself to sing. "okay, here it goes..."

"amugeotdo saenggakhaji ma

neon amu maldo kkeonaejido ma
geunyang naege useojwo

nan ajikdo mitgijiga anha
i modeun ge da kkumin geot gata
sarajiryeo hajima~" i paused to check if he was still there, but he didn't respond so i continued.

"is it true? is it true?
you, you
neomu areumdawo duryeowo
untrue, untrue
you, you, you

gyeote meomulleojullae
naege yaksokhaejullae
son daemyeon naragalkka buseojilkka
geobna geobna geobna~"

"siganeul meomchullae
i sungani jinamyeon
eobseotdeon iri doelkka neol irheulkka
geobna geobna geobna

butterfly, like a butterfly
machi butterfly, bu-butterfly cheoreom
butterfly, like a butterfly
machi butterfly, bu-butterfly cheoreom~"

it was one of the songs i loved to sing and write, but i only made the tune since i have zero experience in producing beats. i was inspired to make my first original song ages ago, yet this one was written by heart.

complete silence filled the other line. "hyung?" i asked.

is he already asleep? i thought and waited for a couple of minutes before confirming that he actually was. i sighed and let out a small smile. "i know you wouldn't hear this, but... i'm honestly really glad we met at the cafe, and we wouldn't probably meet again if you're not taehyung's roommate. what a small world, right?" i chuckled lightly.

"yoongi hyung, i just want to say that you're doing great on what you're doing. please take care of yourself and keep doing what you love the most. i hope you'll find true happiness someday."

gulping, i gathered all of my courage and said, "i know you wouldn't hear this as well, and this isn't a good time for me to confess, but... i hope you can reciprocate my feelings for you, hyung. good night and sleep well."

after ending the call, i've finally let out the air i didn't know i was holding. it was a relief and my chest became lighter when i said all of those words that i wanted to say to him, even though he couldn't hear them. placing my phone back on the end table, i hugged my pillow really tight as i closed my eyes, peacefully drifting to sleep with a smile on my face.