Interlaced By Hatred | Hidashi AU

Chapter 11

Hiro felt like his skin was itching from within. He wanted to scratch the itch but he was too scared that it would hurt. Everything hurts, from his head to his heart. The area around his eyes felt heavy too, possibly a bit too strained from the tears. It had been three hours since he had the talk with Tadashi, a talk that made him realise that this was it.

They were done for good. There was nothing now, nothing in between them that could pull them back together again. It was time for Hiro to let all of this pain go, to let his heart soar from its cage, to just be able to breathe again.

It was funny how things have fallen into place like this, even if those places weren't where Hiro wanted to be. He walked back to the cafe, his heart feeling heavy in his chest. He knew that he couldn't expect anything from Tadashi. The man was never going to know the truth and for a second, Hiro did recognise the short thrill of fear running through him at the thought that Tadashi might've figured something out.

But he would deny it to his dying breath if the day ever came.

Tadashi was in love with Honey. He was currently in a relationship with her, with someone he wanted to be with. Hiro wouldn't let something that Tadashi loved—made him happy become ruined just because Hiro thought he needed his feelings to be justified.

There was nothing fair in this world, especially when it came to this feeling in his chest for the taller actor.

He bit his bottom lip as he walked into the cafe, greeted almost immediately by the soft scent of pastries and the slightly bitter smell of coffee in the air. Cass was behind the counter, smiling at one of the customers before she waved them off.

"Hey!" Cass said as her eyes landed on Hiro. The smile on her face froze and dropped when she took in how Hiro looked. The ex-actor winced in guilt, realising that he had been making his aunt lose her smile a lot lately. "Hiro," she started but before she could get a word out, Hiro looked at her and smiled brightly.

He pulled a mask over his face, masking his hurt and pain by this smile on his face. He had done this plenty of times before, so it shouldn't be hard to do it now. However, the guilt only intensified when he saw how his aunt looked a bit sad at the smile.

"I'm going to my room," Hiro quickly said, looking away from her. "Kinda tired."

"Oh," Cass said slowly. Hiro gave her a quick smile once more before he hurried away from her, up the stairs and into his bedroom. He closed the door shut and took in a deep breath. He dropped his bag next to him before he slid to the floor, sitting down and staring right ahead at the dark room.

"What's wrong with me," he whispered to himself, feeling more than exhausted. If he could turn back time, if he could make himself stop from realising that he was in love with Tadashi, he would. He would do anything in his power to make sure he never went near this type of pain. He hated this, he hated his heart and he hated how he couldn't make up its mind whether he should latch on Tadashi or let him go.

It was painfully obvious though. The answer was painfully obvious.

So, why wasn't he doing just that?

Why wasn't he letting the man go?

***

It was a week since Hiro last saw Tadashi. There was no sign of the man in this city anymore and it took the ex-actor another two more days to realise that the man had left. He had left Hiro alone, just like how Hiro asked him to. He didn't blame Tadashi, he knew he asked for this. He knew he had asked for this solitude, this space between them.

He sighed gently under his breath as he walked down the university's hallway, just walking, heading nowhere particular at the moment. He couldn't help but to think what would happen if he had confessed. What if he had met Tadashi in a different way? What if instead of snark as first greeting, what if instead of the sudden overwhelming dislike for the man, what if he had tried for nice?