Letters to the boy I've only Loved.

3

THAT NIGHT IT WAS the first college night, of me being an official student. It had been a crazy day, with Peter coming here and all of the new classes and how the change of weather seemed to make me smile.
I wasn't invisible here, I had a purpose. And Everyone else did. My roommate was out, and I don't know where she went. We aren't exactly buddies, but we said we'll let each other know if one would be coming late so the other would let the door unlocked. I was afraid to leave the door unlocked in the dorms. But I was afraid that she didn't have her keys and would be banging later.
I pick my phone as I apply a Korean face cream on. I need this, I feel the stress rising and that is something I'm not looking for.

"Covey," Peter smiles beautifully as he answered the video call. He's wearing dark clothes and his head is unsteady and everything is dark around him, except for the glowing in his face from a lamp.
"Kavinsky," I try to smile, but the cream is latching on to my skin. Peter laughs and I frown. "Don't laugh. Please... it hurts to...move my face." I was trying hard not to laugh. But Peter's rage of mad laughter had me laughing too. Which only made him laugh harder.

"Man, come one shut it. We're trying to sleep." I hear someone say. One of his roommates, I believe.
"Sorry," He says, and then he stares at me. His face is bright pink and he has tears on his eyes, his face still cracked in a smile and he's panting, trying to gather his breath.
"That wasn't funny." I say and I move towards the bathroom to wash my face. "Did you make it in time when you left?" I ask as I wash off the cream.
"Yeah, a few minutes early actually. It was cool. You looked beautiful today—as always, I may add."
I cover my face with the towel, not only to dry it, but to hide my obvious blush.
"Thanks." I mumble.
"You're welcome," He yawns. "I'm getting sleepy Covey. It was nice talking to you. I love you so much." He yawned again. "Saranghaeyo." He smiles.
"That was cute, me too." I reply. He said I love you in Korean, which made me feel a lot of things. Between them the mad fluttering of butterfly wings, and the sense of peace.
"Good night." He says with a breath.
"Good night." And the call is dropped on his side as I stay staring at the phone. I am the luckiest girl, I have Peter Kavinsky as my boyfriend and he's making me happy.

I dial my house, to check on them. I've been gone for two days and I'm not sure if they've wrecked the house already.
"LARA JEAN PLEASE COMEBACK!" Kitty's voice erupted from the speaker.
"Hi to you too Kitty." I say as I fix the bed. "Everything okay?"
"No, with you and Margot gone, all eyes are on me, which means I can't do anything. Daddy is always chasing me, he's always over me babying me and crying. Telling me not to grow up—ever. Please comeback." She says, and I don't know if I should cry with her or laugh. The fact that Kitty wanted me to leave so she could have the house to herself and have no one bossing her around, and now she's begging me to comeback is kind of funny.
"I can't Katherine. I'm studying. You'll have to deal with it yourself. You know daddy is just emotional, remember when GoGo left. That's just life." I lay on the bed and look at my nails, they seriously need work.
"Lara Jean, how can you say that? Are you evil or something? Please comeback, I said I wasn't going to miss you, but I guess I do."
"Aww that's sweet of you, but no can do."
"FINE!" She screamed and hanged up. Wow, she might be having a middle age crisis, and she's only a child.

THAT NIGHT I DREAM ABOUT the night of prom. On how amazing it was, how Peter made everything so special and made me feel like the happiest person alive.
Then Genevieve comes into the picture, her face burning in the back of my mind. She seizes Peter by the neck of his tux and kisses him in the lips. The kiss so intense, their arms are around each other.
Everyone is staring, and then they look at me, making me feel smaller than ever, my heart is racing at my throat; with plans of escaping my body and shattering before me.
"I told you, he was mine."
"Yes Covey, how could I love someone like you?" His voice echoed.
"Nooo!" I open my eyes and I stare at the darkness in the room. The front door flung open. A dark silhouette walked inside.

"Hey, I'm not waking you up, am I?" My roommate asked. Her name was Olivia, she had short dark curls and dark brown skin. Her eyes were green, and she had a piercing on her nose.
"No, no." I say, "just a–, what time is it?" I ask. She looks at her phone.
"One in the morning." She said.
"Oh. I guess I better get back to sleep then."
"Sure. Yes." She said as she walked to the bathroom.

I laid back, but the sleep didn't comeback easily. I kept thinking about Gen, and Peter. How he'd said he'll never be with someone like me. That was just a dream, Lara Jean. I tell myself.

I take a deep breath, and I close my eyes.

*Thanks for reading!💞*