Phan Oneshots // Fluff

I was an island

Based on the song: I was an island by Allison Weiss (attached above), I recommend listening before reading.

Summary: Dan and Phil are very lucky to have each other and sometimes in the early hours of the morning Dan thinks about how much he changed and how his life changed ever since he met Phil.

Warnings: none

Dan opened his eyes slowly as the light filtered through the small opening of the blue curtains,  moving slightly with the wind from outside.

He sighed, feeling the sleepiness wanting take a hold of him once more,  his mind not feeling ready to start another day...not yet...

  He turned to his right side slowly making the bed slightly shake while shifting his weight, and then feeling the familiar warmth of the body beside him. An arm wrapped tightly around his waist making it hard to move. Even though the situation was slightly uncomfortable he wouldn't have it any other way.

He looked at the man beside him, messy hair, ruffled from sleep and closed eyes that when opened had the color of the ocean, so deep you could drown in them.

And Dan laid there, placing his own arm around Phil's waist holding him tight.

"how did I ever get this lucky" he thought to himself, smiling at his boyfriend, running his hand softly down his spine.

Before Phil.... Dan was guarded, sheltered by his own self-doubts and fear. Mostly afraid that no one would love him enough to accept all the flaws that came with him. So... he got used to being alone.

He didn't need anyone...that's what he used to say, at least until Phil came around. And after that he couldn't bare loneliness anymore.

He would tell his friends he liked being "free", but it was a way of rationalizing the fact that he couldn't find anyone he was interested enough to have a solid long term relationship.  He thought a relationship would tie him down and make him unhappy... but then, Dan saw his blue eyes, dark hair, and the way he stuck out his tongue when he laughed and sometimes tried to cover it (which made Dan want to slap his hand away and tell him that he loves his laugh ), and Dan suddenly didn't want to be free anymore.

Honestly...his whole life he felt like an island, isolated from the world, lonely, always just standing by himself, floating in the ocean, unable to make a connection. Never being part of the mainland, you could say. Always by himself, except for the occasional visitor that ended up leaving after they got tired or too bored... but not Phil, Phil never left.

Other times he felt like a wolf, never being part of the pack. Always asking himself what was wrong with him, why couldn't he be part of anything, be normal, social...but Phil finally made him feel like he belonged somewhere... right in his arms, safe, warm and comforting.

Dan thought of himself as a fighter, armor and sword always in hand, never letting his guard down. Thinking he was so brave, until Phil took his hands and intertwined their fingers, held him as if he was going to fade. And Dan found himself asking him to never leave him alone, and Phil held him tighter and swore he would stay.

And the raven-haired boy showed dan what love was. A powerful feeling impossible to deceive or fade. And sure, in his teen years he had crushes before, small springs of emotion. Some made his heart flutter and gave him butterflies, all in the past...because nothing, nothing, could compared to what he felt for Phil. Where every time they kissed he could feel fireworks exploding in his chest, every time Phil looked into his eyes his could feel his heart swell with fondness and affection, he had never felt like that before. Even after years of being together, the feeling had never faded, never turned dull. Actually, the opposite happened, with each passing day, the feeling just kept becoming stronger.

And dan moved his hand to brush Phil's hair gently out of his face, and Phil sighed content, slowly opening his eyes, and looking at Dan with the same fond expression that Dan was wearing.

"what did you do to me Phil Lester?" he said brushing his fingers against the others jaw.

Confusion written on Phil's face "what do you mean?"

And Dan chuckled slightly "it seems... that I can't do this alone anymore, life,  I can't live without you" he said now covering his face with his free hand while blushing.

And he didn't know if it was the early morning, or his dazed tired mind, or just the image of Phil sleeping calmly at his side that made him say such cheesy things, but he meant every single word.

And Phil grinned "well that's a good thing... because I can't live without you either"

A/N: Im actually really proud of this one, this is my favorite song at the moment so I love this oneshot. Hope you enjoy :)

Thank you for 1k reads!!!

Also new cover yay