leave out all the rest. - [jikook] | j.jk & p.jm

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J I M I N

It's like I don't know him anymore.

The name Jeon Jungkook could make the hearts of thousands skip a beat.

That name, it sounds so sad now.

It sounds so foreign.

Something that tastes bittersweet on my tongue.

I don't know how to feel about it anymore.

Maybe it's because I'm not used to refering to my best friend that way.

I'm not used to calling him 'Jeon Jungkook' in interviews and concerts.

I was so habituated with 'Jungkook-ah'.

Now that I feel like I can't say that anymore, I call him by his full name.

Oh, pardon me.

By best friend I meant my previous best friend that I had a deep bond with, but lost it somehow.

I don't think he's noticed it yet though. And with how things are going, the bond that had existed between us back then will never return.

It hurts.

I wonder if I was just someone he had become bored of. And have been categorised as 'lame' in his head.

After all I never know what's going on in there.

So curiosity does strike.

And then doubts and insecurites do too.

I guess its kind of normal. People have those kind of emotions.

It isn't a first time to me. It's always been there. And honestly I agree with them.

The ARMY disagrees with a lot of these kind of thoughts. They disagree with the seemingly negative ones, but I know that that they're true.

I appreciate that they're trying to make me feel better about myself, but still.

I'm fat.

I'm an oversized pig that somehow manages to look cute, though that is because of my manners.

I'm also incredibly boring.

I'm someone that makes a person cry from boredom whenever I'm around, because nothing makes me unique.

Nothing about me is intriguing.

I'm not worth being part of any special bond.

That's why all the band members don't really talk to me as much anymore. Whether we are on tour or having a while off from schedules, they talk with one another all the time but not really with me.

Despite feeling so left out and unwelcome, I honestly don't blame them.

I don't blame Jeon Jungkook either.