(Once Emily arrives home, her mother is waiting in the kitchen, cooking a pot of Ramen).
Mama Donahue: Oh, Em! You're back!
Emily: That does tend to happen once school is over, you know...
(She drops her backpack on the table).
Mama Donahue: Don't put your bag there! The Ramen is almost finished!
Emily: I love Ramen, but don't you know that it gives me the shits?
Mama Donahue: We share a bathroom, hon.
Emily: Then why feed it to me?
Mama Donahue: I'm going on a date tonight, so I won't have to use the shitter.
Emily: I hope you talk that way around your date.
Mama Donahue: I'm going to have to tidy up, Em, I know! This man will be tough to crack. He already has someone else in his life.
(Emily chokes on her spit, begins coughing, and looks to her mom in shock).
Emily: What the...?
Mama Donahue: Oh, get your mind out of the gutter. He's a devout Catholic.
Emily: Woah there, Mom. I knew you couldn't keep yourself away from the dangerous sort.
Mama Donahue: And he's even a doctor!
Emily: Great. Hope he's nice too.
(She moves closer to her mom, a tired smile tugging at her lips as the older woman stabs the Ramen pot with a knife).
Mama Donahue: I met him in church, he's only just moved here a few weeks ago. He was very kind, also recently divorced, I heard.
Emily: What happened in his last relationship?
(Her mother leans in close to Emily, whispering).
Mama Donahue: His wife went... rogue.
Emily: And by that you mean?
Mama Donahue: Lesbian.
Emily: Oh man, that blows.
Mama Donahue: Especially considering his occupation.
Emily: Professional pimp?
Mama Donahue: Conversion therapy!
Emily: What the hell is that?
Mama Donahue: He converts the gays back to normal.
Emily: So... He gives the butch ones long-haired wigs?
Mama Donue: No, silly Em! He makes them go back to liking the opposite sex.
Emily: You do know that it's not a real thing, right?
Mama Donahue: Shush, Em. He's employed by the Lord himself.
Emily: Uh-huh. Did he go to college in heaven to get that degree?
Mama Donahue: Maybe he did!
(Emily grabs her back off of the table, and slowly drifts towards her bedroom).
Emily: As long as he doesn't kill you or anything, I guess.
(She doesn't want to fight with her mom tonight).
Mama Donahue: There's a reason I keep a bat in the car trunk, honey.
Emily: I'm gonna go throw my bag in my room then, call me when the Ramen's done.
Mama Donahue: I better not catch you watching Brokeback Mountain again.
Emily: That was one time!
Mama Donahue: At the very least, do it when I'm not home!
Emily: Fine! I will! Happy now?
(Without another word, she makes for the stairs).
ŞİMDİ OKUDUĞUN
hold me, sunrise. [little talks spin-off]
Kısa Hikayeemily donahue likes cats, so she must be gay. © 2014 Jude Rigor