Smoke kissed

1

    I gently caressed my white dress as I stared at the full length mirror in front of me. My hair and makeup have never been this perfect and I’ve never felt so trapped in my life. The bodice of my dress is encrusted with Swarovski crystals and they gleamed in the morning light. Today is my wedding day. I’m being married off to a man I don’t know, and to top it off he was my elder sister's fiancé.

How did I get here? I think to myself. My mind is a blur and my head hurts. There was a gentle knock on the door, "Come in," I croak.

The door swings open to reveal my mother. Her pale pink dress is so prim and proper that it hurts. She’s wearing a pearl necklace that completes the ensemble perfectly. She stands behind me and smiles, her reflection in the mirror in front of me make me sick to my stomach. Not from hate, no, but from the thought that I’m being torn away from the one family member I love the most.

I smile at her and my eye glisten with tears.

"My baby looks so beautiful," she says as she touches my shoulder and gives it a reassuring squeeze.

The door suddenly swings open and my best friend Amy barges in, "Are you ready? It's time... Mr. Vanderwal is waiting.”

I plaster a smile on my face and tucked a lock of hair behind my ear.

The diamond studs I’m wearing sparkle in the light as I turn to leave the dressing room. Erica is leaning on the wall with a champagne glass in her hand. She’s drunk. I stop dead in my tracks, I knew what was coming. She turns to look at me and a smug smile adorns her perfect face. Her eyes are laden with hatred and disgust. Her shoes ticked on the tiled floor as she comes near me. She smells like bitter alcohol and expensive perfume.  

"I pity you little sister," I felt my stomach drop.

"Such a sad thing to be used like an object. Marrying a man who will never love you," I take a deep breath and move past her.

"You are so unloved Rose," she giggles as she stumbles to follow me.

I pick up my pace as much as I can and reach the arched closed doors where Amy and my bride's maids were standing. I can see my father speaking to my mother. They stop when they see me coming. My mom's face breaks into a huge grin, but my dad’s wis blank like always.

Amy runs towards me and hugs me, "You’ll be alright Rose. I promise." she whispers in my ear.

We break our hug and one of my bride's maid hands me a huge bouquet of lilies and roses.

I feel as if my lungs have vanished from my chest. It tightens and my breathing hitches in the back of my throat as the doors open. My father gently takes my arm in his elbow and gives me a tug.

My surroundings start to blur. My mind isn’t moving, only my body. Like I’m a silicon doll being played with. The tears begin to sting my eyes, but I push them back. The humongous crowd of people stand up and look at me, celebrating my pain. My eyes fall on the epicenter of my pain, Blaze Caesar.

He has no expression on his carved face. He stands there looking like he is staring at something so unimportant that he doesn't think it necessary to put any kind of effort into his facial muscles. But when I look into his eyes they scream scorn, despise, and irritation. I lower my gaze.

Is this what I am stuck with my entire life? Is this what I have to live with? Will I not be allowed to find a man who will love me and adore me? Who would look at me right at this moment, with pride, respect, and love?

I can physically feel this realization dawning over my body. I look at my father with pleading eyes when we stop at the altar where Blaze stands in a perfect, crisp, black tuxedo. He extends his hand to me. I look at him and isn’t like he’s asking for my hand, but rather ordering me to give myself to him. I let out a breath of acceptance and place my hand on his. He helps me onto the citadel, and immediately lets go as if he was holding onto a piece of trash. Everything starts to melt away in a frenzy of thoughts.

"Do you take Mr. Blaze Caesar as your lawfully wedded husband?" The very sentence breaks my trance. I gulp the lump that has formed in my throat, "I--I do," an involuntary whisper from my mouth responds.

The priest smiles at me, "You may kiss the bride now Mr. Caesar."

Oh this is the moment I’ve been dreading for so long.

No! This can't be happening!

Blaze leans towards me and lifts the veil from my face. He brings his lips to lightly touch mine. A sting is left on my skin when he withdraws.

An uproar of claps and applause breaks out. I turn towards the crowd and see Erica looking at Blaze with irritated eyes, mom rubs her shoulders. My dad holds her hand and kisses her palm. I look at Blaze. He’s looking at Erica with an unusual softness, but it doesn't touch his soul. My heart clenches at this. I’m neither my husband's queen, nor am I my father's princess. Just another unwanted parasite.

I want to run…

Runaway somewhere I can change my identity forever. I wish I meant something to someone.

Edited by.
ClaritynMercy.