Drunk Eyes & Sober Hands // Jesse Rutherford & Zach Abels

☞ Pain ☜

"TELL ME WHY I STILL FEEL PAIN, AND WHY MY INSIDES RIP TO SHREDS WHEN I SEE THAT YOU'VE MOVED ON TO A DIFFERENT TYPE OF ART."

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"Why did you bring me here?" I asked Jesse as he twiddled with his thumbs across from me at the coffee shop table.

"I think you already know the answer to that, babydoll." He said, leaning back against his chair. I looked down and tapped my foot. I did know the answer. But I wanted to hear what his version of it was.

"Jesse... I..." I began to say, but I couldn't even finish my sentence. He looked up at me and attempted to smile. He knows what I mean. God, he knows me so well.

"When I saw you here that one night of our gig... Man, you were the prettiest girl I've ever lurked at." Jesse said, laughing slightly, to try to lighten the mood by bringing back the memory. I smiled at the ground and felt myself starting to blush. "Is my little lady turning red for the old Jesse?" He lingered his laugh as he leaned over the table. My heart skipped a beat. Little lady. That's what he always used to call me. I mean, he had a thousand other nicknames for me, but for some reason "little lady" was my favorite. I don't know it's weird, it makes me get butterflies inside. And Jesse knew it did, so that's why he always called me that when we were together. But what makes me curious, is that he still occasionally does it now. I was so deep in thought that I didn't even notice Jesse was taking a good look at me for a while now.

"What are they doing here...??" I questioned, ignoring Jesse's gaze, and noticing a group of guys walking towards us. Jesse furrowed his eyebrows and turned his head around. I caught sight of him rolling his eyes but he quickly hid it when he turned around.

"What's happening, guys!" Brandon practically shouted at us as him and the rest of the boys yanked chairs from tables and stuck them next to me and Jesse.

"Oh shut the hell up, we could practically sense the awkward between you two all the way from the bathroom." Jeremy said, nudging both of us with his arms. We laughed at how accurate that probably was. But I couldn't help but get really nervous. I'm really curious about Jesse right now. He looked like he wanted to tell me something, but he couldn't because the rest if the guys came. Which, I dont think either of us planned on.
Zach and Mikey were sitting next to me, Jeremy and Brandon were next to Jesse. They all started having a heated conversation about what they were going to do on Friday night, and let me tell you, they do get pretty hyped about this shit. It looked like just some friends hanging out at their local coffee shop. Good times. But, of fucking course, I was still thinking about Jesse.

"You okay, Lys?" Zach said faintly, so only I would hear, but it's not like they could hear it anyways, they were practically yelling right now. I looked up at him and nodded unsurely. He rolled his eyes and leaned his arm against the table to hold his head. "Bullshit." I rolled my eyes back at him and gave him a "whatever- you- say" look. He nudged my leg. "I'm not giving up until you smile. It's on." He boasted, like a little kid. He just kept staring at me and he knew I sucked at straight faces ever since the day he laid his eyes on me. He finally got a laugh out of me and whenever he did, he never failed to let me know. Zach tickle-scratched my side which caused me to squirm and death grip his hands, it looked really funny from a different pov, like I was about to go down a zip line and he was the instructor pushing me off.

"I fucking hate you." I managed to say in between laughs that were turning into awkward cackling sounds. Zach stopped and looked directly at me, shaking his head in an attempt to say I was most definitely wrong. I nodded, he shook his head, I nodded, and he shook his head. Back and forth. I started to smile from the semi staring contest again when I saw Jesse out the corner of my eye. He was talking to Mikey and the rest casually but he was staring at us with his foot tapping unusually fast. Whenever he does that, it means he's angry about something. I know, weird, but in all the years we dated, its something I picked up on. Zach noticed that I saw what Jesse was doing, so he grabbed my hand from my lap and brought it in between our legs, so it was hidden. Then I heard Jesse's foot kick the bottom of the table. I looked up at him and he plainly stared at me and Zach's hands. I looked down at it too, taking it in. I mean Zach always did this. Or at least things like this. He was always the best at picking up the, so he says, "small signs" to know whether something was wrong. And he always comforted me. It helps so much to soothe me and sometimes he wouldn't even need to say anything. I never thought too much of the pda type thing because I always let Zach invade mine. But not like that. You nasty.

"I'm gonna get a cookie, guys want anything?" I said, trying to break the overflowing thoughts. But, not gonna lie, I'm half saying that because I'm hungry as fuck. Their heads popped up and looked at me.

"Get me one too!"

"Get some napkins for Jeremy's dirty ass."

"Could you be a main bitch and get my order while you're in there?"

I laughed and nodded, getting up out my seat, making sure to let go of Zach's hand beforehand. I went inside the coffee shop and looked around. I grabbed a cookie for both me and Mikey, some napkins for Jeremy, and I stood, waiting for Brandon's order. I leaned against the counter, using my elbow as an anchor so I wouldn't slide. I was on my phone, playing a random game. Damn, how long does it take to make a latté? I was so into the game, I didnt realize there was someone behind me. "Oh sorry, I'm not in line, go ahead." I said, scooting out the way. I turned off my phone and was mid in the way of picking up all the stuff I got when I realizes it was Jesse.

"Just what do you think you're doing?" He asked, raising his eyebrows and adjusting the tooth pick in his mouth.

"I'm waiting for Brandon's order..." I answered, looking over the counter to see if they showed any sign if they were finished. Nope. I wonder if they're doing this on purpose, maybe Jesse told them to take a long time, maybe this was his plan! Ugh god. I am so dumb sometimes. But could you blame me? It would all make sense. He leaned over the counter and twirled my hair around his finger.

"You know that's not what I meant." He started to stroke the hair he had twirled. He knew that made me nervous as fuck, he knew what he was doing. I sighed and looked down.

"For Brandon?" The barista yelled out, putting the coffee down on the counter. I smiled at her and moved from Jesse's grasp to go get it.

"When are you going to stop acting like we're dating still? I'm not yours anymore. I can hold anyones hand." I said to him, halfway out the door. He looked shocked and he didn't move from his spot. He looked hurt, if I dare say. I forced a weak smile at him and left to go back to the guys' table. I wish I knew what he was thinking right now. But all the more, why he was acting like this. We've been fine for a while, but now... all of a sudden.. why are you acting like this Jesse?