Chapter 1 ↬ Your life as a child ⚠️TW⚠️

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You just got home from school during a wintry day, you shakily reached your hand out for the door knob and prayed he wasn't home right now. You prayed he was out hanging around with his sluts or his drug dealer. Honestly, you could care less about your abusive father. He used to be so nice until your mother divorced him. It all started when you were six years old. She left and he went into a depression, he started drinking and smoking things you weren't familiar with.

As a child, it wasn't easy having many other women stop by the house. Having these women push you around and try to put make up on you wasn't a nice feeling. They blew smoke in your face, took your toys and your coloring pads just out of spite to hear you whine and try to get it back. After when you had enough, you ran and told your dad but he wouldn't respond and sometimes, would tell you to shut up.

At the age of 10, you decided to just stay in your room whenever other women would come over. Sometimes your dad would kick you out of room just so he could have sex with his sluts, usually the only time when he would go in your room was when he was taking in more than one woman. Sometimes you could see them and hear them and it would make you sick to your stomach so you had no choice but to go in the living room with the other women. Usually when your father was busy in bed with a woman, there would be about two or three sitting in the living room, smoking and chatting, waiting for their turn.

They taunted you, put make-up on you and told you many things you didn't want to know. There was one woman who showed you what a condom was and let you hold it, obviously it wasn't used because it was still in the pack and you were thankful for that. There was this one woman who completely pissed you off and she came over often. You didn't know her real name but she called herself 'Pepper', she always pushed you around and cussed you out and insulted you about the way you looked. At the age of 12, Pepper tried to get you to smoke something that wasn't a cigarette, she called it 'pot'. You refused and she shoved you and caused you to land on your bottom. You had snapped and told her off by shouting, "You're a no good whore who can't keep a good man and stop selling your body out to complete strangers for drugs!"

Your dad over heard your out burst and came into the living room. Pepper told your dad what you said and he slapped you across the face and it caused you to fall on the floor. You tried to explain what she had done but he grabbed you by the collar of your shirt and pulled you close and said through his gritted teeth, "I don't care. You need to respect your elders, ya little bitch." He snatched you over to your room and shoved you inside and slammed the door shut. Once again, you fell on the floor but you just laid there and cried yourself to sleep.

At the age of 14, your dad started beating you more often just to let his anger out. Most of the women that came over when you were younger stopped coming over and were replaced with newer, younger women. Most of the young ones looked like they were about 25. There was this one woman who came over that was nice to you and you two bonded quickly. She was the only one that made you feel comfortable in your own home. Her name was Iris, she was actually really pretty since she didn't wear a lot of make-up but she did do drugs. You asked her why she was here and she explained that the only reason why she was here was because her friend was drunk and she was gonna take her home after she was done with your dad.

Iris came back a few times with her friend and sat in the living room with you and you two would instantly start talking. Sometimes you would get curious and ask Iris what sex was like. She told you every detail about it and felt slightly awkward on the inside but didn't show it. You just listened contently while she explained. She told you that the little things like kisses and cuddles and hugs from behind would always get her into the 'mood' and it just made you smile. She also said that just a single touch from someone you truly care about can cause a lot of stuff, such as; increased heart rate, butterflies in the stomach area, weak knees and a hot feeling in your face. But then she laughed and said, "But that's just natural. You'll find that someday."

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