Carter Ortese is Trouble - completed (The Boys #1)

Chapter 20: Emma

My fingers flush white against the steering wheel. My wrists start to ache from my fierce grip. I can't stop. When Georgia and I tied, I felt the last of my sanity drain out of me. What is left is a slow boiling anger. I'm sitting in the parking lot, waiting for Carter to get off work. Waiting and recollecting the day.

When I got home from school earlier today, my house had been blissfully empty. I unpacked my clarinet and played the song over and over again, until my fingers went numb, my cheeks burned, and my lips vibrated. My parents arrived home about thirty minutes after that with take out dinner from their favorite restaurant.

My dad asked me about the stupid epigenetics book. I fought back tears, feeling the hot sting in my eyes. I choked them down instead of telling my parents the truth. My mom was the one to notice how frustrated I was.

She said, "Honey, if you don't understand the concepts, we could hire a private tutor."

A tutor. For me, the so-called genius.

I had to leave. I had to get out.

As soon as dinner was over, I made up an excuse about needing more materials for my chemistry project. Our library was open until nine, which would buy me some time.

I thought about calling Mika, but remembered how upset she had been the last time I dragged her into my drama. Britt had barely held a conversation with me all week. Stacy ... Well, she felt so far away, I couldn't be sure we're friends anymore. There's a growing distance between us, and I'm not sure how to stop it.

I settled on Carter.

Now, I'm in the parking lot of the restaurant he works at. I force myself to let go of the wheel and pull up my texts on my phone and tell Mom that Mika needs a study session.

My mom texts back almost immediately. "Don't spend too much time helping other people. You need to focus on yourself."

It's almost as if my parents want me to become a narcissist.

The lights inside the restaurant flick off, leaving me in the darkness of my car in the almost empty parking lot. Between the street light and the moon, there's enough light to see silhouettes, but my heart beats faster as my anxiety increases. The darkness feels unyielding, and I switch on the overhead light in my car. I shift in my seat, growing restless.

What feels like an eternity later, Carter strides out from behind the restaurant and slides into my passenger seat.

"What's wrong?" he asks as soon as the door closes.

I open my mouth, planning to tell him everything, but my words won't come. Instead, I turn on the engine and get us out of the lot. I turn away from our small town and drive towards the hills on the outskirts, somewhere quieter, somewhere I can calm my roaring thoughts.

Carter waits, tapping his fingers on the door frame.

"I hate feeling this way," I say after a long stretch of silence. The restaurant is a few minutes behind us, and I'm still driving.

I can feel Carter's eyes on me, but he still waits.

"You're too patient," I point out, feeling a little frustrating. I'm not used to voicing my feelings, telling people the rivers of emotions that flood my veins. I'm used to hiding.

"You're not the first person to tell me that." His fingers still.

I let out a breath. "I lost my chair."

"The lead?" Understanding creeps into his voice.

Nodding, I inhale slowly, feeling the frustration well underneath the surface. I can't lose my cool. Not now, maybe not ever. I pull over into an empty lot near a small trail that leads to a clearing. The clearing used to be a forest, cut down to make room for a development no one asked for. But for whatever reason, construction halted, and now it's just a field in the middle of a forest.