Only Been Pretending

Chapter Twenty - No More Pretending

Chapter Twenty

          Over the next few weeks, Eponine adjusted to living with Grantaire. She and Enjolras hardly had any contact anymore. On occasions when they were both at the cafe with their friends, they would avoid eye contact and hardly speak. Enjolras thought that letting her go would be the easiest thing to do, but he was finding it to be very hard, especially whenever he saw her. He could see that she was trying to hide behind a facade that everything was okay, when she was obviously still hurting. Now, they were both pretending. Enjolras tried to silence the nagging voice in his head that was telling him to do anything possible to reconcile with her. He tried to tell himself that he would forget about everything and move on eventually and that she would do the same. However, he was finding that all this pretending was a very daunting and exhausting task.

          Eponine was struggling just as much. Living with Grantaire was helping because it put distance between her and Enjolras, but she still found herself thinking of him all the time. She desperately wanted him to love her in return, and even though she knew it was impossible, she somehow still couldn't completely let go. Being as stubborn as she was, she refused to make the first move. She wanted him to come to her and make things right. Eponine decided that going to him and trying to force things right again would only cause her more pain. She couldn't take that, so she recognized that it was best to sit back and wait, even if he never came to her. Even if that meant waiting the time she needed to heal and move on.

0000

          It was late one evening, about two weeks after Eponine left, and Enjolras was exhausted. He couldn't sleep, and he lay in his bed, tossing and turning. The little, nagging voice in his head wouldn't shut up, and all he wanted to do was close his eyes and rest. After hours of fighting with his mind, Enjolras dragged himself out of bed, willing to see if a walk would help. He pulled on his clothes and sluggishly left the apartment. Wandering the streets, he stuffed his hands in his pockets and admired the stars. It was rather peaceful. He paid no mind to where he was going but let his feet take him wherever they pleased. After traveling for who knows how long, he decided it was time to turn back. His eyelids were becoming heavier and heavier with every step, so he decided to take shortcuts down some alleys.

          When he turned down one alley, he saw a group at the other end heading his direction. They were laughing and talking loudly, appearing to be drunk. As they got closer, Enjolras noticed they were all dressed in National Guard uniforms. The blood in Enjolras's veins ran cold, and for a moment, he considered turning back in the opposite direction. However, he quickly decided against it. It would look to obvious. Besides, it was dark, they were off duty, and they were clearly drunk. He continued on, keeping his head down and hoping they paid him no mind. He managed to pass them successfully, but his relief was quickly exchanged with panic.

          "Hey, I know you!" one of them slurred.

          Enjolras kept walking, picking up his pace, but part of the group was faster, and they caught up with him. He found himself very quickly surrounded.

          "Yeah, you're that rebellion leader. The one with the red coat," another said.

          "You're mistaken," Enjolras declared.

          "No I'm not! You killed one of my friends. I thought you were dead!" the one who first spoke exclaimed.

          "Well, he should be. I shot him myself, upstairs in that cafe!" a third cried.

          "I'm sorry, officers, but I don't have a clue what you’re talking about," Enjolras lied.

          He knew he was in deep trouble.