Will it ever get better? (A Harry Potter story)

Off to Hogwarts

"Ready Harry?"
Harry nodded at his godfather, trying not to look afraid. Sirius and Remus had explained to him this morning that they were going to see Professor Dumble-something who lived in the big castle. He held onto Remus' arm tightly ready to apperate, trying to focus on what Remus had said about the Professor and the day ahead but Sirius' words kept creeping into his thoughts.

"Come sit up here with us for a moment harry" Remus had said earlier that morning. Harry had been sat on the soft rug next to the fireplace with prongs whilst doing his colouring. Looking up, Harry felt his gut clench. Both his godfathers were sat on the couch wearing unusually serious expressions. Remus wore a bright smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, which kept darting to look warily at Sirius, who looked rather irritated, Harry thought. This didn't bode well. Harry nervously got up and made his way to sit in the space between his godfathers, looking down at his feet and chewing his sleeve anxiously. Had he done something wrong? Were they sending him back to the dursleys? By now they had probably realised what a waste of space he was and couldn't wait to get rid.  Harry didn't realise he had began to tremble.
Remus noticed the fine trembling and with a sigh, calmly took both of Harry's hands in his own, preventing the child from chewing through his sleeve. "There isn't anything to worry about" he said softly "Sirius and I just wanted to tell you we were going to visit hogwarts today"
At this, Harry's head shot up and his emerald eyes searched Remus' chocolate brown who's gaze remained steady. Harry would love to go see the big castle, he barely had a chance to see it when he was there last time but what he did see looked really cool. But what if his godfathers were wanting to leave him there? Harry didn't think he could bare it if he had to leave thistle cottage. "Will i still get to come back here?" He asked in a small quivering voice.
"Of course you will!" Sirius but in. "We are not about to send you away pup, this is your home now. We're just going to have a day out thats all"
Harry let out a sigh of relief as Sirius ruffled his hair affectionately. They still wanted to keep him! Now reassured, harry relaxed back into the couch and looked up at his godfathers, confused as to why they still looked tense.
"Today we thought it would be good to go visit the Headmaster of hogwarts; Professor Dumbledore" Remus continued, still gently holding the child's small hands in his own. "So we can have a nice walk around the castle, Madam Pomfrey can give you a quick check up to make sure you're all better and have a nice chat with the headmaster who i know cant wait to meet you" he finished, tapping Harry's little nose. Harry wondered why on earth someone would want to meet him, especially someone as important as a Headmaster, but he didn't ask. He knew Remus and Sirius said he was allowed to ask questions but he still felt that he should be as least annoying as possible. He knew no one liked annoying children who questioned adults.
"Does that sound good?" Remus asked.
Harry nodded shyly, not really knowing whether it did or it didn't, he was always nervous of meeting new people. Some of his nerves must have shown on his face because remus added, " you will like Professor Dumbledore Harry, he has a big bird called a Phoenix and he will even let you try lemon drops"
Remus' words were cut of by a half growl, half scoff from Sirius. Remus shot a glare at his friend, begging him with his eyes not to say anything negative in front of Harry. Unfortunately the glare angered Sirius further.
"Don't start making out that Albus Dumbledore is some sort of bloody Father Christmas" he spat harshly. Harry looked up at his godfather and noticed the angry set of Sirius' tense jaw. He scooted closer to Remus, knowing better than to sit too close to someone in that temper.
"Don't start Sirius" Remus warned, glancing down at Harry. "Dumbledore is a good man Harry, you will like hi-'

"Ha!" Sirius shouted, jumping to his feet, shaking with uncontrolled rage. "Vernon Dursley a good man too is he, Remus?"
"This has nothing to do with that man!"
"It has everything thing to do with him! If it wasn't for dumbledore, harry would never have been left with him! Hell, dumbledore didn't even want him removed from that blasted house!"
"Sirius!" Remus growled, his arm now around a cowering Harry. Harry was terrified, he hated shouting. Shouting led to him getting hit. If uncle Vernon was as angry as this, harry would have already got the belt. A shudder ran through him as he pressed  further into the back of the couch, making himself as small as possible. Why was Sirius so upset? Harry must have done something wrong.
Harry no longer wanted to go the big castle, he wanted to get into his warm bed and hide under the covers. Was what Sirius was saying true; this man, this pr'fessor Dumblesnore, he was the one who left harry at the dursleys? The man must be horrible, why would Remus want him to go see him? What if the took him back to the dursleys, away from his godfathers? He couldn't... Harry couldn't...
"Look what you have done!" Spat Remus, rubbing Harry's back soothingly. Sirius looked down at his beloved godson and stilled. The child was shaking like a leaf. He was curled in on himself with a few stray tears trailing down his cheeks despite his eyes being clenched tightly shut.
"Shush child, you're okay" Remus whispered, drawing the tiny body to his chest.
Guilt curdled in Sirius' gut. He hadn't meant to upset the boy, he wasn't use to children and Harry was extremely fragile. Panic was rising up in him, had he blown it? Would Harry be scared of him now?
"Harry don't be upset" Sirius begged. He moved forward towards Harry, who seemed too consumed in panic to be aware of his surroundings. "Come on pup don't be upset" he reached out to shake the boys shoulder.
Emerald eyes shot open in fear. The child whimpered and hid his head in Remus' face arm raised in front of his face to protect him from a blow. But not before Sirius saw the fear directed his way.

"For gods sake Sirius! Go get a calming drought"

Sirius backed off and rushed to the kitchen to retrieve the drought. He felt like throwing up. How could Harry look at him with so much fear?
Grabbing the vial of purple liquid, he hurried back to the couch. Remus took the vial with a pointed glare and coaxed the child's head off of his robes.

In his panic, Harry felt a cool vial press against his lips and felt someone trying to tip his head back. Hysteria rose up in him, he couldn't remember where he was. What were these people going to do to him? He tried to struggle free from the arms that held him, unaware of the tears now cascading down his small red cheeks. Through the fog he could hear softly spoken words
"Hush child, this will make you feel better"
Someone was rubbing comforting circles on his back. Harry finally swallowed the cold liquid immediately feeling the fog disappear, and his shaking cease.
"There you go" Remus smiled gently. "There's nothing to be worried about"
Harry breathed heavily, wiping the tears from his face. He knew he should be scared sitting this close to someone, especially after how mad Sirius was, but he couldn't bring himself to worry anymore.
He timidly looked up to Sirius and felt his heart fall. The man wouldn't even look at him. He'd really messed up this time.
"Are we still going to see the pr'fessor in the big castle?" He asked Remus worriedly.
"Yes child, but there isn't anything to worry about okay? We won't be long and it will be a fun adventure"
"W-will you stay with me?" Harry asked timidly, biting his lip. He hated to ask questions but he really didn't want to be left alone with this Dumblefloor man.
"Of course pup, we're not going to leave you" remus pulled him into a tight hug which Harry relaxed into closing his eyes.

When Harry got up again, Sirius was no where to be seen. Remus and Harry ate lunch alone, with Remus giving reassurances to Harry.
After lunch Sirius made a reappearance but would still not look at Harry. It hurt more than Harry would like to admit, he never wanted to upset his padfoot.
Soon they were in the garden, Harry clinging onto remus' arm, ready to aperate.

They arrived outside the a large gate, mounted by two winged boars. Harry stares, his mouth agape. Everything was so big!
The gates open to allow the trio in, and Remus lead the way, Harry holding tighter to the mans arm, walking slightly behind.
Sirius brought up the rear, looking at his feet, fighting down the storm of emotions within him. He was still disgusted by Dumbledore and was going against his better nature allowing the monster anywhere near his godson. His poor fragile little godson. He couldn't believe he had lost control and said that stuff in front of the child, the fear in the child's eyes as he looked up at him, burnt to his soul. He never wanted his best friends son to fear him. The guilt boiled within him, he wasn't fit to look after such a delicate child. He didn't deserve such a beautiful family.
Reaching the front door, Remus turned in the direction of the headmasters office.
"We should go see poppy first" Sirius called, halting to a stop.
Remus sighed, holding Harry closer, noticing how the child once again began to chew on sleeve. "We need to alert Albus we're here, Sirius, and Albus will want to hear what poppy says too"
"Then we shall tell him! But Harry needs to feel comfortable, there's no use making him nervous before seeing Poppy"
Seeing his friend was not backing down, Remus sighed and nodded his agreement, tuning to the direction of the hospital wing, pulling a reluctant Harry along with him.