I received a text message from Cohen's mother earlier. Ayaw akong paalisin ni Cohen though hindi naman niya talaga alam yung real reason ng pag-alis ko. I told her to wait for me in the house 'cause I want her to rest. Pumayag din naman siya pero nakasunod sakin yung mga guards niya. Hinayaan ko nalang kesa magtalo pa kami. She gave me a limit though. Kapag daw wala pa 'ko after one hour, wag daw akong mag expect na hindi niya 'ko pupuntahan.
Pagdating ko sa restaurant na sinabi sakin ng Mother niya, nandun na yung Mom niya. Napalunok naman ako sa kaba. Datingan pa lang alam mo ng ang taas. Parang ang hirap abutin. Alam mo yung aura ng nanay ni Daoming Si? Ganun, e! Jusko, help me lord!
"Good evening po..." Magalang na bati ko. Tumango lang siya sakin at nag sign na umupo ako sa tapat niya. May mga food na sa table. Busog ako dahil hindi ako pinaalis ni Cohen ng hindi kumakain pero alangan naman na tanggihan ko diba?
"Did she know 'bout this?" Oh shit. Ang lamig ng boses! Namutla tuloy ako lalo!
"No po..."
"You know that I want to compromise with my daughter right?" I nodded. "Can you do me a favor?" I seriously looked at her. Seems like there's no sugarcoating words involve. She's so straight to the point.
"Anything," I said.
"Leave my daughter. Stop the wedding. I did a background check and saw that you once engaged with Creighton Ramirez. I don't want my daughter to marry a girl who was engaged before. She's a successful woman. I want a perfect partner for her. And you're not that girl. You're not perfect for my daughter."
I expected someone to tell me this. Pero ang sakit sakit pala talaga kapag narinig mo na. Sinabi ko sa sarili ko na handa na 'ko kapag narinig ko yung mga salita na yan pero...hindi pala. Sobrang sakit pala na ipamukha sa'yo na hindi ka bagay sa taong mahal mo. Sobrang sakit pala na marinig sa iba na wala lang ako kumpara sa mga narating niya.
"Can you do that? You know that thing that makes her complete is me accepting her as my daughter. I will accept her when you leave her. So now, do you want her to be happy?"
But...I'm her happiness, too...
I wiped my tears. I smiled a little.
"I always want her to be happy. Just give me this night to be with her po." I sobbed. Damn it!
"Sure. Then when she wakes up, make sure that you're out fo her sight."
Tulala ako papasok sa bahay. Natauhan nalang ako ng pagpasok ko ng pinto ang dilim dilim. I was about to click the switch, but I heard a song suddenly played. Biglang may mga balloons na letter style ang umilaw.
WILL YOU MARRY ME?
And then Cohen showed from the side. Smiling widely. My tears started to fall.
"Nag-guilty kasi ako na hindi kita nabigyan ng magandang proposal and I want to do this for you." Marahan siyang lumapit sakin. She bended her right knee. Mas lalong bumuhos ang luha ko. Don't do this, Cohen! Stop this! "Baby, hindi ko alam kung nasabi ko na sa'yo lahat pero alam ko sa sarili ko na ikaw lang talaga ang kaya kong mahalin ng sobra sobra. Ikaw lang yung gusto kong makasama palagi. Hindi ko na kayang hindi ka nakikita sa bawat araw. I never felt complete before, but you happened and I'm so thankful for that. I don't know kung anong nagawa kong kabutihan para ibigay ka sakin ni Lord. I'm inlove with you, Monique Aphrodite. I love you so much. I love you every damn second. I love you every damn time." May kinuha siya sa back pocket niya.
And there...
I cried so much. Napatakip na ko ng bibig dahil nag-iihit na talaga 'ko! There's this little diamonds on the middle part of the ring. It was so beautiful!
"Will you marry me?" She lovingly asked. Kinda teary eyed.
Hindi ako nakapagsalita.
Iyak lang ako ng iyak. I calm myself then tried my best to answer her.
"No."
"Of course its a no—," Natauhan siya. "N-no? Did you say, n-no?" Her voice beginning to crack. I'm so sorry, love, but this is for you. I only want your happiness.
"N-no, Cohen, I will not marry you."
And damn, her tears fall.
Hinayaan niya bumagsak yung singsing sa sahig at tumayo. She hugged me tight.
"What the fuck!! Tell me you're fucking joking! Tell me you just want to prank me!! I will forgive you. You win just fucking tell me that this is a fucking joke!" She managed to say between her sobs. My heart is hurting. Hindi niya deserve na masaktan ng ganito.
Hindi niya rin ako deserve.
She's too perfect for me.
I'm nothing compare to her.
I'm not the best for her.
I'm not the one for her.
I held her arms, trying to move her away from me but I just can't! She's hugging me tightly! And I am so weak right now!
"I'm not Cohen. I don't want to marry you anymore." Pinilit kong hindi mag stutter dahil gusto kong marinig niya na wala na talaga siya sakin. Gusto kong malaman niya na ayoko na talaga. Narinig ko yung mga hikbi niya na lalong ikinasakit ng puso ko. "Let's call this off, Cohen. Ayoko na."
Biglang nawala yung mahigpit niyang yakap sakin. Bigla siyang nanghina kaya nakaalis siya sa pagkakayakap sakin. Her eyes looks like nothing. Parang bigla siyang nawalan ng gana sa buhay. And its because of me...
Umupo siya sa couch with her hands on her face.
"I'll announce that the wedding is cancel—" She cutted me off.
Galit siyang tumayo. Her eyes are burning with so much hatred right now. That's it, Cohen. You should do that. You should hate me.
"What did I do for you to do this?" Sabi niya. Nagpipigil ng galit.
"It's my choice—"
"Then fuck your choice! Tell me the fucking reason so that I will fucking understand what the fucking choice you're fucking telling me!" I've never seen her this mad. She really hates me now.
"Ayoko na nga! Hindi pa ba reason yon?! Gusto mo pang dagdagan ko? Sige! Ayoko na! Napapagod na 'ko sa'yo! You're telling me to do things that I don't want to! Gusto mo yung mga gusto mo lang ang nasusunod! Hindi na ako yung Monique na kilala ko! Binago mo 'ko at hindi ko na nagugustuhan 'yon!" Baby, I'm lying. I'm so sorry. Ito nalang ang naisip ko. I'm so sorry. Kahit gusto ko naman talaga nung mga ginagawa mo sakin. I'm so sorry, baby.
"Putangina, Monique! Sana nung una sinabi mo na na ayaw mo pala nung mga sinasabi ko kasi susundin naman kita! Saating dalawa ikaw lang ang may karapatan! Tangina, all this fucking time ganyan ang nararamdam mo pero hindi mo sinabi sakin? Tangina!" Sinira niya yung mga ginawa niyang props. "Tangina! Patayin mo nalang ako!"
Tumalikod na 'ko. I called her friends telling them to come here now. Hinintay ko muna silang dumating bago ko umalis.
Goodbye, Cohen. This is for you. Mahal na mahal kita.
