The Outsiders Imagines

Pony • Journalling • Pretty in Yellow

dallas winston, the self proclaimed 'relationship expert' himself told me he figured out why the girl i like doesn't like me back. now hear me out, i think his logic is flawed cause really, what the hell does dally know about love? exactly, nothing, he doesn't love anyone except maybe johnny.

but anyway, he said its cause i'm on the debate team. thats it.

it was like a revelation to him. he didn't know before today, when i told the guys i couldn't hang out after school and steve ran his mouth and told the whole gang it was because i had debate. steve only knows cause soda accidently let it slip once infront of him BUT IT DOES'NT EVEN MATTER WHAT STEVE THINKS CAUSE HE'S A JACKASS ANYWAY AND  I DON'T EVEN LIKE HIM, HIS HAIR IS STUPID AND HIS OPINION DOESN'T MATTER AND -

i broke my pencil fuck

anyway

dallas cracked the fuck up and told me right there in his cocky new york accent that THAT is exactly why the girl - you know, the one that looks good in yellow? thats why she won't go out with me. apparently its nerdy and weird and the way things are going some tool is going to come sweep her off her feet before i even get to her.

thats what dally told me anyway.

i didn't think much of it at first, but you know that thing that happens when its late and you get all lonely? yeah. thats when i was up thinking about her; tuff, smart, witty as hell...pretty...real pretty in yellow. shoot i really like her a lot. i thought about her friends, the older guys that had motorcycles and tough girls that could probably beat me up. she hung out with cool people, that had cool stories and did cool things.

she was sweet.

sometimes, when i get brave enough to say hi or offer her gum, shes always so nice. but someone as cool as her wouldn't want to date someone like me. especially not someone in the debate club. it made sense, and i'm about starting to think that maybe dallas is right. maybe if i spoke a little more or stopped sticking my nose in a book every spare chance i got then maybe she'd notice me.

i mean notice notice me. you dig?

ugh. i'd about die if anyone read this.

it makes sense though, doesn't it?  its not like the cherry valance thing, this girl is just as greasy as i am so if she really wanted to talk to me she could. its not that i don't try to make conversation, i already mentioned that i offer her gum sometimes. sometimes i'll smile and she'll smile back but mostly i'll turn away real fast if she ever catches me staring.

but if she ever found out i like her i think i would have to find a way to evaporate because a loser like me could really bruise her reputation.

obviously i tell johnny all about her. he's my best buddy so of course he had to know, as if he couldn't already tell. i don't have to say much to him, he just gets it. sometimes i reckon it might get on his nerves the way i go on and on and talk about dumb stuff like the way her hair looks when she ties it up or how i think her handwriting is delicate and perfect.

johnny is a good listener though, he don't say too much about it but he just keeps telling me to 'be myself and see what happens.' being myself ain't got me too far just yet and honestly, I don't know if i ought to take girl advice from johnnycake. he's scared of girls and i reckon he'll be a virgin till he's like thirty. love him though, really.

dally on the otherhand...oh dally sure as hell gets girls. but i don't know if i want to 'get girls' the way he does. i can't just play the game and date someone for a little while and move on to someone new. dally ain't scared of losing any girl he picks up, and for me it just ain't like that.

i get too emotional.

i said it, i really like her. and right now i just plan on keeping it to myself but if i ever get the courage to tell her, i'll do it right. but if not, and if dally is right i'll just have to watch someone else whisk her away. that'll hurt.

god i'm so sappy i need a blunt.

***

Ha. 14 for a month ain't no joke y'all our boy is out here crazy in love lmao
ALSO if you want to spice this concept up: You're the crush
:)