Highs and lows [Imagine Dragons Fanfic]

Panic

Dan:

"Uhm, I honestly don't know where to start." I say and feel my cheeks blush. Why am I so insecure? They are my friends, I can trust them!

"Take your time bud!" Ben replies. "How about you start at the beginning?" Wayne suggests.  "Yeah, you know the only problem is that I don't really know when it....." I didn't get to finish my sentence. I do know when it started, I just suppressed it.

"I swear to god, when I get out of this prison, I will make you wish that you were never born! You little brat." dad hissed at me as the police officers half drag him out of the courtroom. "You and your goddamn little friends will get to know real pain. You will regret that!"

"As you guys might know, it's been fifteen years since my dad was sent to prison!" The others nod. I guess all of us will forever remember that day.

"A few weeks ago, it's been exactly fifteen years. Anniversary day, if you know what I mean. That was when all of it started. For some reason, on exactly that night, I dreamed about the trial for the first time. At that point I didn't know why, but it didn't take me long to understand why it happened that night." I pause. My head feels extremely crowded.

Suddenly I feel a hand on my shoulder, squeezing me. "Take your time, we have all night long!" Wayne says with an encouraging smile. I try to smile back and take a deep breath before I continue.

"I wasn't able to sleep that night, so I turned my laptop on. That was when I remembered the date, I remembered what could possibly happen. They said by well behaviour he could be out in fifteen years."

"So he is out?" Wayne asks short-winded. I shake my head no. "No, he isn't." I can already feel my hands starting to shake and try to calm myself down. I need this to be done. This whole situation gives me the feeling of being helpless and weak and I just want it to end!

"I got an email, informing me that would leave prison in one month. The thought of having him out of prison, it just did something. I got random panic attacks in the middle of the night. Thinking that he is standing in front of me, while in reality it was just a shadow on my wall. I couldn't sleep beacause I was having nightmares about him all the time. But I couldn't stay awake because of the lack of sleep, I started to hallucinate.

It got to a point where I couldn't handle it anymore. I started taking sleeping pills, but because of that my nightmares got even more vivid. So I didn't do that anymore. The only way I was able to sleep a bit, was with a knife in my hand and all lights on."

I stop, if I would continue to talk my voice would probably crack. I put my hands on my head and try to keep myself from ripping out my hair. It all gets too much. My breathing gets faster and I can hear the others saying something, but I can't understand them. It's like I'm in a bubble.

Their voices sound like they are miles away from me. I can't feel Waynes hand on my shoulder anymore. My hands start to shake and I can't do anything about it. I want the others to calm me down, but I'm not able to lift my head and look at them. I'm isolated in myself. I..

Two warm hands grab mine and gently take them off my head. Pulling them down, holding and squeezing them. I can feel the hand on my shoulder again and another one around my chest as Wayne pulls me in a loose hug.

Then two hands lift my head and I look at Ben, whose hands are holding my head up. Slowly, I can understand what they are talking. "We're here bud. It's okay. Calm down." Ben says like a mantra, over and over again.

Slowly my muscles relax again. The shaking stops and I close my eyes, I let myself just be held by my best friends. My family. And I know that everything will be alright again. They are here and nothing will hurt me, as long as they are by my side!

.....................

How do you stop writers blockade? Watch a sad movie/series. Then watch the "Next to me" music video. Put roots on loop and start writing at 11:45 pm. That's how you do it!