mArS * matty healy

chapter six

jupiter (time skip) 12th september 2018

well we're here.

i don't know why we're here. but we are.

i stand hesitantly at the door, matty stuck to my side with his arm slung over my shoulders.

my fingers fly to my mouth, teeth instinctively chewing the black nail varnish off. "shall we just go home?" i whisper, and go to turn around.

matty grabs me. "j, we have not travelled for four hours just to go straight back. you can do it babe," he smiled softly.

i nodded, marched up to the big red door and knocked loudly.

the door opened revealing my mother, clad in a pair of her statement leather pants and a polar neck. she looked clean and well put together. obviously a bit of a rocker but that's what she's known for.

"jj! you look beautiful!" she exclaims as she took the sight of me in. "your hair! love it. and who's this nice young man?"

"m matty," he grinned, waving his hand awkwardly.

she smiled lazily and stood to the side to let us in. i looked back at matty and grabbed his hand to guide him.

MATTY

jupiter latched onto my hand, her fingers quite clammy considering the cold temperature. you could tell she wasn't right 'cause her fingers are always cold.

but i thought her mum seemed quite cool.

esma's house screamed jupiter. from the wacky decoration on the walls to the smell of vanilla drifting around even to blinds that hung on the windows. she was really her mother through and through but i'd never say that to her.

"sit where yas want," esma grinned, her lips the exact same shape as her daughters.

we sat on her sofa. i admired the throw that lay across it; it was soft and held a beautiful pattern of rainbow colours.

"i'm esma by the way matty. but you probably already knew that," she said.

"great to meet ya," i said politely. jupiter looked a bit uncomfortable, like she didn't know what to do with herself.

"want a drink? tea, water, wine?" she asked. it seemed like she did things quite fast, like if she didn't do it then she'd never forgive herself.

"wine. please," jupiter replied quickly.

if she's drinking, i'll be the sensible one this time. "i'll have water please. am the driver," i joked. jupiter raised her eyebrows at me so i winked at her.

as soon as her mum left the room, i took the time to speak to her. "you alright j?"

she nodded. "she seems very happy. it's like she's not missed a day of my life." i pouted sympathetically at her.

i pecked her cheek and she pecked mine back. i don't know what her mum thought we were.

esma interrupted us by placing our drinks down. i wasnt even thirsty but jupiter swigged her wine.

"so. how've yer bin jj? got yourself a little boyfriend i see," her mum goes on, plonking down on a big chair next to us.

"yeah. i met matty when i was 17. been with me through everything," jupiter replies bluntly. i'm not sure why she didn't correct her mum but i don't mind.

"you look after my girl?" esma says playfully. jupiter scoffs quietly, thought its not loud enough for her mum to hear.

"course," i say smiling. i think jupiter takes care of me better than i take care of her though.

i watch esma sit and stare at jupiter, her eyes full of wonder, sadness and love. it's quite a crazy thing to see really. a mother and daughter so similar it's insane yet they seem to have so many unknown differences.

"you're still so small jupiter. your little face has barely changed," she says and they both grin.

conversation seemed to flow easily enough for a couple of hours. the wine they were drinking probably helped them both. though even i knew that the elephant in the room needed to be addressed.

jupiter was a bit tipsy. "why now mum?" she hiccuped sadly.

i watched esma's lips tighten slightly. "hm?" she played dumb.

with a tut, jupiter replied. "five years. five whole years you've missed."

esma sighed heavily. "stop it jupiter. that's the past, you know my 'ead was gone."

i watched as her daughters eyes grew bigger and bigger with every word that was said.

"its all the same old story with you isn't it? own up to your bad choices mum 'cause you fucking ruined my childhood," jupiter began to cry.

i wasnt really sure what i should do with myself so i just placed my hand on her leg.

i went to speak but got interrupted by esma.

"i didn't ruin anything jupiter, you're exaggerating."

jupiter scoffed through her tears. "fuck you esma," she screamed, threw her middle finger up and grabbed my hand.

she pulled me out the house, making sure to slam the door dramatically behind her. i noticed esma didn't make any attempt to chase her.

we didn't speak as we got in the car.

we didn't speak until we were about two hours from home.

"want some food?" i asked quietly as we drove past a mcdonalds.

"i'd love some mars," she smiled lightly.

so we sat and ate mcdonalds for an hour.