How do you feel?

PART 1: Fear.

The alarm sounded a second time, the phone in the night stand played the song waiting for someone to touch the screen and tell the job was done. The music desisted and gave up on it's unsuccessful attempt to be noticed. It shout itself down and warned to come back in five more minutes just like it did the first time.

None the alarm, the sun through the window, even the sound of the birds singing waking up to start the day, none had a job to do since the boy has been awake for a while now, spacing out lost in his thoughts about some blond spaz.

Craig Tucker, the most chill and 'not give a fuck' kid is school was worried, his supposed empty and ice cold heart cared about someone and that scared him.

Socializing to have fun yet being distant with everyone was how Craig is, or at least used to be. He used to play with the rest of the kids, he enjoyed having fun, he had his circle of friends yet he always had a line nobody was able to cross. This distance he created gained his 'heartless' reputation even when his close friends knew this wasn't the case.

Care leads to love, love leads to fear. The most you love someone the most you fear to lost that loved one. Fears may become true, a fear turned into reality leads to pain, pain leads to suffer and enough suffer turns into despair.

Love and despair are opposites yet both are such as strong and powerful as one another... two terrifying feelings Craig was afraid of. He wasn't used to deal with his feeling at all.

Educated in a conservative way, not showing feelings at all was the acceptable for a male and Craig learned this quick at a young age. Still showing some outburst of anger and annoyance, being aggressive was the only way to express himself that was 'acceptable' for the standards, and he learned to turn his sadness, his confusion and his pain into rage and violence. Mostly verbal expressing his discomfort through hurtful insults and some times when things were too much presenting a first shot of his fist.

He closed his eyes and a painful memory came back to haunt him. The next day after the whole 'yaoi' thing, he woke up questioning himself, thinking about everything and trying to process how he felt about Tweek. Something changed in the night, he can swear it was like somebody did something to him while asleep, he went to bed seeing Tweek as a friend and woke up not sure about that statement anymore. He was confused and he acted that day like he was 'expected' to. He confronted Tweek and pushed him, one thing lead to another and both end up fighting.

His heart ached at the image of him punching that so beloved being he worshiped everyday now and a sickening feeling tickled his stomach realizing it actually happened in the past and how his hands somehow were dirty with Tweek's blood.

"Craig! You are being late for school. Wake up, hun."

The kid came back to his senses once he heard his mother's voice. The alarm tried a third time and this one finally got Craig's attention. He turned it off and started to get ready for school.

Craig followed his dairy routine brushing his teeth, dressing up, taking some quick breakfast and leave with Clyde.

The autumn's wind was cold hushing between the buildings while dragging dead leafs. The trees displayed a marvelous picture with different red, browns and yellows on their foliage as the boys walked down the street.

"You ok, man?" Asked the brunette.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"You sure? You don't seem like not giving a shit at all"

"I said I'm fine. It's nothing"

"Ok... I'm your best friend, you know?"

"Everyone knows that, Clyde. Are you so stupid you really need to recall it everyday?"