Laying in my bed later that evening, I thought about how I could approach Jinsoul in this peculiar situation. Obviously not many people will have gone through what I'm going through and those that have are probably not dumb enough to talk about it online. That means that there was probably no way I could find tips online as to how to tackle my situation.
A wave of hunger than ran through me, spurring me to go to the kitchen to find food. I crept out of my room, afraid to alert Jinsoul and Gowon, causing them to awaken from their slumber. As I quietly tiptoed down the hallway towards the kitchen, I heard what sounded like a muffled shout. I froze for a second, before calming down and considering rationally what it could've been. That was probably just Gowon snoring, I thought to myself. I continued my silent journey towards the kitchen, but by then the sounds had gotten louder and more vigorous. It honestly really piqued my curiosity but I decided to settle my grumbling stomach before going back to check out what was happening.
I pulled out a box of kimchi we stored, opened the box, making minimal sound as I did, cut myself a sizeable chunk of kimchi, before gently putting it back into the fridge and nudged the fridge door close. I was about to take a bite of food when sounds emerged from Gowon's room again. This time it wasn't just a sound, it was loud words that I could make out.
"Yes! Yes! More unnie!" It was clearly Gowon's voice. What was happening? I decided my stomach could wait and decided to check out the commotion myself.
I crept towards Gowon's bedroom door, where panting and moaning emerged from, and slowly twisted the door knob open. It went by unnoticed as the sounds became less muffled and I got more and more sure of what was going on.
I got a little disgusted and shoved open the door, shouting "Park Chaewon! Are you fucking kidding me? Why are u masturbating so loud in the middle of the night!" As the words escaped my mouth, my eyes were greeted to a sight that sent pain coursing through my body; Jinsoul was having sex with Gowon.
Shellshocked, the couple quickly stopped what they were doing and covered themselves with the blanket, and were obviously embarrassed. I on the other hand was completely destroyed.
Blushing Jinsoul offered an apology. " Sorry. We thought you were sleeping. Please don't tell the other members." I felt my will to live slip away from my body as I was unable to reply. I just closed the door, sat on the outside, and started sobbing uncontrollably.
I may want you, but now I know, that you don't want me.
