I Don't Wanna Live Forever (BatFam COMPLETED)

Chapter 15

And while they sat, Dick started conversing. Jason knew it was bought to happen, though he didn't want it to. He knew where it would lead and just lead to Dick hating him more than he was showing. He knew he looked better, because of Roy and Kori. After they had gone to Starling City for the purpose of consulting Green Arrow (Oliver) and Kara (Since Flash was in Gotham) about the Vertigo case again.

Oliver had suggested that it may have been the Count again since he'd escaped jail and all, and when they looked into it deeper, there was indeed enough evidence that it was The Count. But let's not go into that.

"So where have you been for so long?" He asks, leaning against his elbows and Jason gulps "With Roy and Kori in Starling, it was important." Dick raises an eyebrow with a small smile "For four months?" Jason keeps quiet but then sighs and pulls Dick's head into his hands and cups him gently.

"You talk too much Blue Bird." He says and pulls Dick into a short kiss which left Dick a blushing mess and Jason smirks "Wanna go over to your apartment so we can hang?'

Dick smirks back "Is this a way for us to fuck?" Jason's smirk doesn't flatter "You decide."

And so, Jason found himself in Dick's apartment, on his couch, naked, and Dick moaning into his mouth due to his rough groping. Thoughts were swirling around him in heavy tornadoes and he feels airheaded.

He doesn't deserve Dick, he knows it, Dick is just an idiot who loves him without any boundaries. Dick is an angel who deserves the world, and can bring down Jason to his knees without realising. He'll find the perfect man or woman for himself one day, and he'd leave Jason alone and heartbroken. He knows it.

Dick slowly lowers himself down and Jason lets out a moan, Dick grunts when Jason's fully sheathed inside him and pants.

"I missed you." Dick moans when Jason thrushes upwards and Jason groans and cups Dick's face "Missed you too Dickie. Miss you so much." Then their kissing.

And they kiss, and kiss, leaving Jason a muddled mess on the couch.

*******

"Stay for tonight OK?" Dick asks, when Jason hauled them both over to the bedroom "Just for tonight?" Jason was going to leave, but seeing Dick look so desperate, he sighs and nods "Fine, scoot."

Dick curls into his arms as soon as Jason gets under the covers and Jason kisses his forehead. He feels Dick's breath even out. And soon, he feels himself slip into a dreamless slumber, completely unaware of the small smile decorating his face in the darkness.

*******

Dick wakes up alone, he feels the covers shift, indicating Jason getting up and Dick panics, what if Jason's leaving? But then relaxes at the thought that Jason was going to the bathroom and was going to be back in Dick's arms in no time.

But then hears Jason head out to the living room, and his panic rises again, and then hears the shuffle of clothing and his gear latch come on. He always had an extra suit in Dick's apartment. And then the windows creek.

Jason was leaving.

Dick felt that panic be replaced with hurt and he gets up and rushes to his closet and starts putting on his Nightwing suit. If Red Hood was running, Nightwing was chasing.

He follows Jason to one of his warehouses, but Jason is slower as he took the long way down, Dick reaches there first and grabs what seems to be a backpack in the floor and then rushes upwards when Jason comes down and then starts searching for his backpack.

Dick feels... angry, hurt, betrayed and unloved at the moment. He sees red and he jumps down, Jason turning around quickly and he gasps. Dick pulls out his deadly Escrima sticks, the ends crackling with electricity as he shouted.

"Get over here and fight me you goddamn bastard." Jason doesn't move, he can't fight Dick, he knows he can't. He can't hurt him.

He knows it's his fault.

Dick lands a punch to his gut and Jason lunges backwards, his senses are screaming at him to punch back, but he takes it, he takes every shock, every punch and every kick.

Nightwing feels the fury burn out of him slowly and he wants to rebuild it, but Jason isn't fighting back and tears spring out of his eyes behind his mask.

"Fight back dammit!! Fight back what are you waiting for?!!" Dick screams, his voice hoarse and then soft as he rests his head against Jason's hurt chest, sobbing "Fight back." The fight has left his body and all he can do it cry on the person he's angry at.

Jason takes off his helmet, and he isn't wearing his mask underneath, and he had tears streaming down his face.

"Dick I'm sorry - "

"No." Dick interrupts him "No, no and no. You don't get to apologise, you don't get to cry, and you don't get the right to express my hurt. You have.... no right, to come back here, fuck me, and leave me like a one night stand. You Jason, have no and absolutely no right to feel sorry for yourself. Because you left me Jay, you left me alone and insecure for 4 months because I thought you didn't want me anymore. You left right after you comforted me. So no Jason, you don't get that chance, to apologise to me."

Dick was sobbing throughout, and he hates it, that he can't control his emotions right now. And it hurts looking at Jason crying, it's a rare sight, and he knows he's partly to blame.

"Dick I - " "No Jason! I don't ever, ever, want to see you again! I hope you die and get reincarnated and suffer throughout your new life!! I hope, to never ever see you again!!" Dick is screaming, and he knows it, his Escrima sticks lower back into their respected hooks.

"I don't deserve you." Jason says and Dick stops dead in his tracks "Your too good for anyone Dick, too good for the world. I don't deserve you, your smart, handsome, pretty, snarky, happy, caring, generous, I can go on forever."

"I'm far from a good man, I kill, I torcher, I do stuff which breaks every law in the book. I'm cruel, I'm harsh, everything which you aren't. I left because you deserve someone perfect, someone who fits your standards, I left because I needed you to understand that."

There was a small smile on his face when he looks back at Dick "But you didn't, and that pisses me off Dickhead, that you didn't fucking move on and waited for me. An unlovable brute who'll only hurt you."

"And I don't want that." Dick walks over to him suddenly and pulls him into a hug.

"Your such an idiot. But that's where your wrong Jay, I did find the perfect man to be with. He's tough, smart, adorable, and really sweet, he's an idiot sometimes, but I love that about him." Dick leans against him, smiling.

"He thinks lowly about himself when he deserves nothing but the best, like not me, and honestly? I feel like I don't deserve such amazing guy." Dick looks at him with love and adoration, and Jason's tears seem to flow harder after what he had said.

"And that perfect man, is you Jason Todd, and I can't ask for anything more. Because your just enough." Then there's another kiss, tears and relief mixed and full of love, soft and sweet breaths.

Jason let out a sob and buries his head in Dick's shoulder. Dick let's him. Jason doesn't remember how long it had been...

But personally, he didn't want to move.