Painful Moments In My Life

Chapter 2

Broken. Destroyed. Unrepairable. That is how I am right now. I'm completely gone. I feel dead inside. I have no will to continue living. I have no meaning anymore.

I hurt someone dear to me, and I feel nothing now. I'm forcing my smiles and laughs. I'm forcing my tears, depression, and pain down.

I'm forcing myself to eat something. To drink water. To stay alive one more day. But each day it is getting harder to continue that battle. I lost 5 friends I thought I could count on. I lost who I am. Who I want to be.

I have no reason to be here anymore, it seems. And it sucks. Because I have so many people I care about, but they seem to not care about me. And that hurts...

It hurts a lot... my little brother could have less to do with me... he barely talks to me anymore, and I have to reach out to him first... my mother doesn't talk to me anymore since I said what has been on my mind for quite a while.

I just don't know what to do anymore. And it... *sighs* it sucks so much... no one can imagine my pain... no one can understand... at all... and I wish they will stay that way, because I want no one to feel this pain. They won't be able to handle it... Hell, I'm barely handling it right now...

I feel I may do something I am going to regret... and no one will be able to stop me... I'm sorry for hurting you... you know who you are... I am so very, very, very, very, very sorry to those I hurt. I will not hurt you anymore. I promise... you won't have to be hurt by me anymore...