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Lovely- Billie Eilish & Khalid
A strong marriage requires two people who choose to love each other even on those days when they struggle to like each other
My dumbass thought that marriage was easy
Again, my dumbass was wrong
When Abby left Buck began to act differently, we stopped living in the same house. He began to live at Abby's old apartment , leaving me in our new apartment.
He would stop by , some nights he would stay over. We barely talk about him living at Abby's, how am I suppose to bring up the conversation?
I still want him to be in my life , he's my world.
I want to start a family with him , have four kids running around in the backyard with their pet pit bull as Buck and I watched.
I'm hiding how i feel for him
He's hiding himself from our relationship
I don't feel married anymore
We've been going through some rough patches, before Abby moved we began to try to have children.
I was pregnant with a little baby boy.
His name was going to be Everest Madison Buckley, the day I heard his heartbeat is the day I fell in love with him.
I was four months when I had a miscarriage , two weeks after I found out he was a baby boy.
But I was woken up by the coldness of my blood surrounding me and Buck. I watched as the blood soaked into the bedsheets to the inside of the mattress.
I listened as my husband cried for twenty seven nights in a row. I pretended to sleep as he did , it made everything worse.
But Buck helped me throughout the whole thing, we helped each other. We lost a child together , now we will console each other as grieving parents and spouses.
He finally came home again, although I know after work he would pass by and drink a sip of wine then come back home to me.
I wouldn't dare to confront him about it.
I would finally be going back to work after five months. I was nervous , going back to work when I recently miscarried.
