Darkest Nights | Love of Royals: Book II

XIII: Trust You

Fíria's POV

It worked once, it can work again.  Another day caught in the routine of my new friends, under the eyes of Thranduil and Elena as often as they can spare them, and then another night where I wait for Legolas to lose consciousness again. Again... I'm doing it again. I'm going behind his back again, and I'm not even trying to stop myself. I'm supposed to love him, for Valar's sake. To trust him with my life, my secrets, my everything. But I told myself I wouldn't get him involved in my father's plans, and to that I hold.

I hold.

In an almost sickening repeat of last night, I rest my head against Legolas's firm shoulder and let myself relax for a while. The walls sealing us off from the crisp autumn breeze, the room envelopes us in cosy evening warmth and candlelight and the rich forest scent of the realm I have grown to know. My pallor makes Legolas's skin seem tan compared to mine, my hand almost ghostly laid across his chest. A ghost, a phantom, a monster, a...

'Meleth, did you dream last night?' he says softly.

My heart begins to thunder so furiously, I find it hard to believe that Legolas can't hear it pumping away beside him. He shifts his body slightly, awaiting my answer.

'I hardly dream,' I reply with no small amount of caution. 'I often used to have nightmares, though.'

'Of your father?' he assumes.

Of myself, my love. Of what he tried to make me. Of what I've done to get where I am, and what I'm doing to protect you. Of what I'll have to do if I want you and my friends and the innocents in this kingdom to survive. The pain he gave me is nothing compared to what I would feel if I lost you.

I swallow, burrowing deeper into his arms, looking across the panes of his chest so to avoid meeting those sapphire eyes. What I wish to say is too much, too soon—I can't tell him who I am, especially since it's the one thing I can do to stay in Thranduil's good graces. I owe the King that much, keeping his son safe from this... whatever it is. That's one thing he and I have in common: love for Legolas. It'll either be the thing that finally unites us, or pits us against each other even more than we already are.

'My nightmares were such that I would open my eyes and it wouldn't all go away.  It would always be like that.'

My father would always be a monster, and so would I.

'And now?' Legolas prompts.

'Now my nightmares are just far off threats.  Reminders of the truth.'

'What truth?'

I exhale slowly.  'That the danger is inescapable.'

He doesn't say anything to that.  I wonder what he thinks I mean—something to do with my father is likely.  I wonder if he knows that he hasn't left my mind, and nor has his fate.  He says it'll be alright, that he and I will emerge alive, together—but they could just be empty words.  I could be what brings Legolas to his doom.  Death in the jaws of the night.

And then if my father doesn't kill me, Thranduil certainly will.

My stomach a contorted knot within me, I let Legolas at last lose himself in sleep. Then off I go a second time, off into the moonlight, freeing myself from hours laid awake beneath fresh linen with the Prince's heartbeat in my ear. His steady presence is comforting, of course, but it won't be what comforts me through the night.

It's time to see if Ílren Elf-ranger stays true to his word, and meets me at the desired location when most of the kingdom is deep in slumber.

If I have learned anything during my time here, it's that Elena will never notice my nightly outings since she spends a fair amount of the dark hours occupied by her Woodland King. It'll be a cold day in Mount Doom when either of them pay attention to a silent shadow gliding past their door.  I know so little about Star magic that I cannot say whether Elena can detect my stealthy wandering around her domain, but even that sort of power won't do much if she's otherwise distracted. Passing by the royal quarters takes me out through a few narrow passages, eventually spilling out onto a secluded balcony at the complete opposite end to last night's rendezvous point.