What to do

Eleni

Eleni is Stefanis(Lady Gaga's) twin sister. Unlike her twin, Eleni is very low key. She's very afraid on what people think. She has a very low self esteem. She's a mother to two children, but being a mother makes everything worse. Elenis husband, Tom Hiddleston. Is worried about his wife. He's afraid she's getting worse. Will Stefani know what's up and help, or will Eleni take her last breath on this earth? Why is Eleni like this? Why is she so damaged
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I wake up to my daughters scream. Not again.
"Moooom she's awake" I hear my son shout. Ugh I can't take this. I roll over to my back and I can feel my husbands arm on my stomach, his hand on my waist.
"I'll take her baby, don't worry." He says kissing my cheek and getting up from med. Why am I such a horrible mother. I can't even take care of my kids, it's always my husband. I can feel tears streaming down my cheeks. I'm so pathetic. My husband deserves a better wife and my kids a better mother. I don't know how I was thinking, I couldn't take care of one kid. Why do I think I can handle two? At least I have my husband. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids and husband more than anything. It's just my mental state, I'm not stable to have kids. I dry my tears and get out of bed. I put my hair in a messy bun and walk into the kitchen. I can see my son sitting at the table drawing.
"Hi mom" My beautiful 4year old says.
"Hi Lucas, what're you drawing?" I ask kissing his head, looking at his drawing.
"Flowers" He says, looking up at me and then back to his paper.
"It looks good, do you want breakfast?" I ask him, he nods. I take out two pieces of bread and put some Nutella on it. It's Saturday after all. I give it to my son who immediately digs in. I give him a glass of juice as well.
"Thank you mom!"
"You're welcome" I say. I open "my" cabinet and take out the pills I need to take today. I pour myself a glass of water and take all of my pills. Then I put on the coffeemaker. I sit down next to Lucas, waiting for my coffee.
"Look who's happy again" My husband says, carrying our 1year old daughter. Who's not crying anymore, but smiling.
"Oh hi baby" I say, grabbing her from my husband.
"Have you taken your medication?" Tom asks me.
"I have" I tell him, while playing with my daughter.
"And I assume you haven't eaten yet" He says, looking at me. I ignore him and look at my daughter.
"Honey, please" He says. I look at him, and shake my head.
"I'm not hungry" I say, glaring at him.
"That's what you always say"
"Well I'm never hungry then" I say, looking back at my daughter.
"Lucas, when you're done go take a shower" He says looking at Lucas. Right. Today's thanksgiving. And we're going to my parents house.
"I'll go fix Luna, and pack her bag" I say walking away from the kitchen to Luna's room.
"What do we want you to have on today hmm?" I say to my baby while looking through her closet.
"This will do" I say, and take out an outfit for her. I put it on and she surprisingly doesn't fight back. Which she usually does.

"Mama" She says.
"Yes Luna"
"Dada"
"You wanna go to Dada?" I ask her. She can say a few words, but not much.
"Wherr dada" She says again looking around.
"With Lucas"
"Luas" She says taking her tiny feet in her tiny hands.
"Silly kid" I say giggling at her.
"Eleni, Lucas needs you" Tom says peeking in. I nod and hand him Luna. I walk into Lucas room, where I see my son laying on the floor. All wet after the shower.
"Lucas, what is it?" I say, kneeling down besides him.
"I don't know what to wear. And you always know that." He says, sitting up. I get up and walk to his closet.
"Okay I'll help you, come here" I say and he walks to stand beside me. I take out an outfit and give it to him.

"But first make sure you're dry, or you'll get an cold" I tell him and then walk out of the room. I walk into my wardrobe, and try to decide what to wear today. I decide on something kind of simple and change my clothes.

Making sure my wrists are covered, I make my way to my makeup station. I do my normal face, which is a lot because I have a low self esteem. When I'm done I make my way into my bedroom and grab my bag. Where i've packed all the things I'm gonna need when we're away.
"Have you packed?" I ask my husband who gives me Luna. He nods.
"The kids bags are also packed and done" He says giving me a fast kiss. I smile. I'm happy to have him as my husband.
"If you go pack your pills and get the kids, I'll take all of the bags to the car" He says and I just nod. I put Luna on the floor in the kitchen and make my way to the cabinet to take the pills I need. But I end up packing more pills than that. I grab Luna and put on her shoes and a jacket. Lucas already has his jacket on and waits for me to put on his shoes. I put on him his shoes and then I take my jacket and shoes. I carry Luna and take Lucas hand and lock the door. We get to the car and I put Luna in her car seat at the front.And then I sit in the back with Lucas. I make sure his seatbelt is on before putting on mine. Then I just look out of the window. How I wish that I could be a better mom. A mom with a stable mental health. A mom who could go outside with her kids ,alone, without having a mental breakdown and be ashamed when their kid cried. A happy mom. A mom who's more involved in their kids lives. But here I am. How I wish I was better than this. My kids would be better off without me, my husband could find a new mom to them. I look at Lucas, who's playing a game on my phone. I look at my husband who's driving. And Luna who's playing with her hands. I don't deserve them. They deserve the world.
"Mom you got a text" Lucas says, waking me from my thoughts. I take my phone and read the text.

from Stefani💛💛
I miss you! See you soon, love you sister❤️

from Eleni💞
I miss you too, see you soon sister❤️

I reply. And give my phone back to my son. It's been some time since I saw my sisters. Especially Stefani. I do miss her a lot. We're twins, so being away from her always hurts.