Wolf mate

Chapter 8

It took them a while to get home. Castle had forgotten his phone at home when he left to find his partner and since he had smashed her phone she didn't have one on her either. Beckett had given him her look of disapproval when he suggested she could call Alexis in order to get clothes so they could get home, and he'd immediately apologized, said he would buy her a new one. A newer one.

"I don't need the newest, Castle. Just get me the same one I had," she'd argued but he'd already decided he would get her the latest one.

Beckett had somehow gotten some pants to him, had walked up to the store where the police still stood and gotten some NYPD pants from one of the fellow officers. Castle had questioned if they'd asked what she'd need them for but she just shrugged and thrown them to him, told him to just shut up and put them on before anyone saw him and reported a flashing. After that it had been rather easy to take the bus home. They were both rather quiet during their transport. Castle couldn't stop but wondering what she was thinking about, what kind of questions she would have for him once they got to the loft. The first thing they exchanged were his warning of Alexis being asleep, that they would have to try their best at being quiet, and then he opened the door for her to walk inside first.

Once he'd closed the door, and locked it, he led her to his office in order to make sure they wouldn't waken his daughter. He kept glancing at her every now and then, watching that same adorable wrinkle that had occupied her forehead ever since they sat down on the bus. Castle told her to sit down on the couch while he went to put a shirt on but when he came back she wasn't on the couch like he'd expected her to. His partner was standing by the big window, looking out over the city they lived in. Carefully he walked up the the window to stand beside her, though he still kept his du stance. He wasn't sure how she felt about it all, just because she hadn't run away from him didn't mean she was accepting his other nature.

"Soo, it's real. You weren't just joking around," she whispered and he glanced at her before looking back to the city.

"No, it's real."

Her heartbeat was steady for once, wasn't picking up in speed in a panic, and it soothed him in a way he wasn't familiar with, yet it felt completely familiar. He heard her take a deep breath before she was turning to him and when he looked at her, their eyes met. His own heart started beating a little faster at looking into those beautiful eyes, he could swear he could drown in them.

"What did Alexis mean when she said you would hurt like Julie if I died?"

He immediately broke their eye contact to look at the city instead. Part one of telling the truth - check. Part two would be so much harder. He knew he needed to tell her but he felt his hands starting to shake with the fear entering his body again. Fiddling with his fingers he didn't know she noticed his change in demeanor until her hands suddenly covered his in a gentle touch.

"I-ah, we're-ah... connected," he started. "You know how some people believe we all have a soulmate out there? It's-ah, true," he stumbled across his words, damned himself for being a writer yet having such a hard time finding the words that truly mattered. "Wolves have a way of actually knowing, like we instantly fall in love on a deeper level than we ever have, we can... feel our mate in a way that no one else can. And if we part from them, in such a way that Hannah was ripped away from Julie, it's like our whole world is ripped away from us. It's like we will never heal from that wound, no matter how much time passes." He paused, wasn't really sure of how to continue. Her thumb was smoothly sliding across the back of his hand and it was... enchanting.

"So when Alexis said you would hurt..?"

He took a shivering breath before he met her hazel eyes again. Meeting her brown and green colored eyes had his heart skip a beat, his insides melting, and he gulped before he managed to answer.