A Guy Like Me (Gandrew)

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Andrew

I'd been dreading this day since the very thought of Garrett dating another man had been suggested as a video idea. And I'd wanted nothing more but to confess my feelings for Garrett and be free of this secret that was slowly eating me alive. But Shane was right, I couldn't just spring something this big on him when I didn't know how I'd deal with it myself.

"You really think he'd make a big deal out of it?" Shane shakes his head, crossing his arms.

"Andrew, okay... You're missing the whole point though."

"Which is?" Shane sighs and rolls his eyes.

"Look, if you tell him... you know that you... like him, it'll change everything. He'll get excited because it's Garrett, and you're hot, and he's had a crush on you since the dawn of time."

"I'm not seeing the problem here." I smile, thinking about Garrett liking me back made me so happy.

"The problem... The problem is well... what you're going to do once the world knows that Andrew Siwicki is bi? Gay? Do you even know what you are?"

I bite my lip, I hadn't thought of what I was going to call it, "Well, not exactly."

"And that's my point." I sigh, frustrated.

He's right, and I hate it. I hate it so much. The truth is that I wouldn't know what to do, how to act, how to deal. I wouldn't know what the fans would do, or how they'd react. I'd tried to tell myself that it wouldn't matter what they thought and that it wouldn't matter how they'd react. All that would matter was how I felt about it, which was good. Liking Garrett felt good, so how could anything bad come of it?

 If only it was that simple.

"This sucks..."

"What sucks? Good morning, Andrew!! Morning Shane! I got you guys coffee!!! Well, I got all of us coffee, but I'm not sure you will like it. I forgot what you guys get, so I just ordered whatever." I smile, of course, he did. He hands me my drink and it takes everything in me not to wrap him up in my arms.

"So!!" Shane shoots Garrett a wicked grin, "You ready for this??"

Again, this sucks.

Imagine the love of your life, and you know that this person is the love of your life, okay. Now, imagine being able to tell this person 'Hey, you know... you're the love of my whole damn life.' Imagine their reaction, whether it's good, whether it's bad, just imagine it. In my scenario, it seems that his reaction would, in fact, be pleasant, and you're probably thinking 'Well damn, Andrew why haven't you told him?' Well, many reasons, many, many complicated reasons. Now imagine having to actually set up the love of your life, the VERY attainable love of your life with another person.

Fuck. This.

I set up the camera and begin filming on Shane's cue. I pray that this day goes by quickly.

"So, Patrick is gonna be here in thirty minutes, that will give us enough time to figure out what the plan is, and how the day is going to go." 

"OH! Yes!! I had a thought!!!" I pan away from Shane and focus on Garrett who's looking at me, instantly I begin to feel myself turn red. 

"Okay?"

"Right! Right, sorry I got sidetracked... Did you get a haircut, Andrew?" 

"W-What?"

"Garrett!! Get to the point?"

"It looks really good!! Where did you go? To get your haircut I mean, because I've been going to Brandi's on third, but the last time I went there she said she was going to be moving salons, and so now I'm in the need for a good hair person, and yours..." He walks towards me and I feel myself start to sweat. I turn the camera off, knowing that this is useless footage.