(nov 2)
quick offers in parking lots mean so much more to me than i show. i'm sorry if you think i'm the one that's leading you on. the truth is that it's really the opposite, and i'm fucking terrified. i make myself seem like i don't care but the more i look like i don't care, the more it actually pains me holding it in.
go pull the trigger. pull your fucking trap, you coward. 'cause i sure am hell not gonna be the first to do it. okay, so maybe i'm the coward here, but can you blame me? there's nothing worse than a coward in love. you don't even have a damn clue! it's like it hurts you whenever you try to pay attention to me; the things i say, the things i do, what i like, who i like, and i don't really want you to because maybe you'll find more things i can't undo.
wrestle with me instead of slow dancing that's for dead people and i think we're immortal. did i ever tell you i wanted to be a ballerina? i know you want to be an emperor and that you'd like to go to hong kong some day, i notice how your eyes are wider when you're not talking and just listening. i always say i loved your silence but when your silence is towards me, it splinters my mind to insanity.
