Chapter 17

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(Content Warning: Cyber Bullying, Body Shaming, Suicide)

"I thought you didn't like public speaking."  Calum nudges me on the couch.

"I never said that.  I just don't like talking about myself."  I explain.

"So it's official."  Luke says, looking at us from the couch facing ours.

I nod and smile at Calum.

"I cannot believe you are breaking all those fangirls' hearts, Calum."  Ashton says.

"I'm not breaking their hearts.  I'm just...momentarily putting them in cardiac arrest?"  He offers.  "It's not like anyone's married or pregnant." 

"I mean, we either break up or get married.  Or stay together without getting the government involved."

"Stop, Lee.  That's depressing.  And I'm too single."  Michael runs his fingers through his hair. 

Before too long, the moms come back and we pile into the buses to drive to the venue for their concert.

"So you like guys with accents?"  Calum raises his eyebrows. 

I guess Calum can see the stars in my eyes after one of the assistants leads us around the stadium to the preshow room.   

"Name a girl that doesn't."  I smile. 

The band takes the stage, and somehow, despite the music, I fall asleep on the couch.  My mom nudges me awake before the band comes back, and I try my best to act like I wasn't completely asleep.  

"Take a deep breath," Calum reminds me as we leave the venue through the front door. 

He tightens his arm around my waist, and I grip his shirt underneath his jacket at his back.  The camera flashes blind me, and I try to keep my eyes trained on the buses.  The shrill screams pierce my ears.  When I get on the bus, the noise dies down, but the bus isn't sound proof.  The band spends a few more minutes outside connecting with fans, then says their goodnights.  

"Today was a long day."  Calum whispers, leaning against me.

"Mhmm,"  I agree.

"Do you want to sleep with me?"  He asks, sounding exhausted.  "Not like, but..."

"Yeah," I nod my head. 

It's past eleven, and we're a few hours away from our new hotel.  I slip out of my shoes and shed my out layers before crawling into his bunk.

"Don't get too freaky over there.  We can hear everything." Ashton says, and Calum aggressively closes the curtain. 

"I can hear you whispering down there."  Michael teases. 

 "We didn't...say anything."  I whisper.

"Yeah...but...I knew you were going to.  So I thought I would..." 

"Shut up!  Some people are trying to sleep."  Luke grumbles.

Calum curls into my back, and I try to ignore the sound of the tires rolling across the pavement.  I close my eyes and try to focus on the warmth from Calum's body against mine. 

I wake up the next day alone in my hotel bed.  I yawn, barely remembering entering the hotel.  We're still in Paris, but I do not see the Eiffel Tower from my window.  Down below there is a Main Street with cafés, shops, and other boutiques.   

A knock on the door forces me to get out of bed.  I stumble to the door and unlatch the locks.

"You look so cute when you just wake up," Calum smiles. 

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