if tomorrow never comes...

shattered, but fine

Laying in my bed
My thoughts are clouded by you
Can’t sleep
Can only think
Your words, in my head, repeat
Stuck in routine
Lost in repetitivity
Wake up, want you, need you, repeat
Feels like I can’t breathe
Chest hurts
Heart yearns
Tears trail down
As I slowly drown
Can’t heal
Can’t deal
Wish I wasn’t able to feel
Never able to forget you
I want to hate you
This would be easier if I didn’t still love you
Why can’t I hate you?
Ran into you the other day
Small talk
Muted conversations
So false, so fake
“Hey, how’ve you been?”
I saw what you wanted me to reply
Not that I was shattered, but
“Fine.”