if tomorrow never comes...

going nowhere

I'm on the verge of a steady decline
I don't want to spiral again
What have I become?
I know I shouldn't be doing this to myself
Why can't I reach for help?
God, I feel so alone
I ruin everything
My mom told me she was proud of me
Because I "gave up someone I loved and cared about to take care of myself"
Why does it feel like the exact opposite?
Honestly, if lack of space didn't hurt you as well,
I would live with the torture of it
I'm sorry
You're worth more than what I've given you
I'm not worth it
Worth you
I never was
But I was willing to try to be
I'm sorry