Fidelity

1

1 | Serendipity

"God, R, it's not so bad!" Hillary rolled her eyes at me while she was stretching on the mat. "Sayang lang kasi 'tong complimentary tickets na napanalunan ko sa Bingo ng org. Wala na rin bibili nito kasi mamaya na. I reserved it for us."

I wiped away the sweat that was forming on my forehead while trying to control my breathing. "I won't ever survive that concert, Hill. You know I don't like music."

Saglit siyang napatitig sa akin, her eyes throwing me daggers. Hillary has been my best friend since college despite our different personalities. While I was born to a father who would serve everything to me on a silver platter, Hillary is working her way in college through scholarships and different part-time jobs, and she won't accept any kind of help from me.

She likes pop music, I don't.

Papa said Mama had a golden voice, he said it was her voice that has drawn him to her. It was in her music that he was drowned, and up until now, he couldn't find his way out.

"Nobody hates music!" She rolled her eyes again. "C'mon, just come with me. I won't let you do anything, please! VIP kasi 'to tapos may chance to meet them backstage pa!"

"Fine!" I said as the treadmill beeped and slowly stopped. I was panting when I looked back at her who was grinning from ear-to-ear. "But I don't want to go to that meet and greet. I'm not even a fan."

She squealed. "Oh, I'm sure you'll change your mind."

I have never been to this kind of concert, so I didn't know how to dress. I ended up wearing a white off-shoulder dress. Kung hindi ko lang kasi talaga best friend si Hillary, hindi ko 'to gagawin.

I've already shut music from my life. I have always been so afraid that someone will hear me, and my music would no longer be the same. That something in it will change. I've been contented in keeping it for me.

And I know that Papa is still hurting despite these years. I was already a living reminder of Mama's loss, I didn't want to add to that any further. Kapag narinig niya ako, ayokong lalo siyang masaktan.

So I kept it to myself. Not even Hillary knows about it, so I didn't want to participate in anything that concerns music in its entirety. I'm afraid how it will affect me in any way.

I'm afraid that I'll come back running to it.

"'Yan talaga ang suot mo?" Tinuro ni Hillary ang dress na suot ko at napanguso ako. "Pupunta ka ba sa birthday party?"

She was wearing a black tank top with the band name Serendipity embellished in golden embroidery. Her long legs were covered — but not really — with ripped jeans and fishnet stockings underneath. Mayroon din siyang Serendipity cap na suot.

"Malay ko ba," Umirap ako sa kan'ya. "I told you this isn't my thing. At kailan ka pa nagkaroon ng merch nila?"

"I borrowed this from friends! Kailangan nating mag-adapt sa fans, or else, we won't make it out alive."

"I think I wouldn't make it out alive regardless," I sighed.

"Don't be ridiculous," she waved her hand dismissively. "You'll survive the night."