Fidelity

40

40 | I do

"Where were you?!"

Isang malalim na hininga ang pinakawalan ko nang makita ko si Adam na halos tumakbo nang makita akong pumasok sa bahay. He was clenching his jaw while he held me at arm's length, his thick brows furrowed. The worry on his face was so evident - the dark circles under his eyes looked like he hasn't slept the entire night, and a gush of guilt immediately flew right through my veins.

Hillary was behind him, with the same worry in her eyes.

"I didn't hear from you and you said Adam will pick you up," she said, heaving a sigh of relief. That reminded me of the last time I saw him.

Or allegedly saw him. I wasn't sure, it was just a shadow.

"Where were you?" I asked him back. "I was trying to call you but I couldn't reach you."

Hinawi ko ang kamay niya at tinanggal ang stilleto na suot ko. My head was still throbbing in pain, I just couldn't deal with anyone right now. All I wanna do is be alone, listen to music, write song, I don't fucking know what I wanna do!

I turned my back on them and went directly to the kitchen to pour myself a glass of water.

"My battery died," Adam trailed from behind. "pumunta ako sa bar kung nasan ka at buong gabi kita hinanap. Where the hell were you?!"

"So that was you," I said as I finally gulped the ice-cold water. "I thought I saw you but you were with someone else. If you please excuse me, I wanna rest."

I walked past him, past Hillary, past everyone because I just wanted to lie down in bed, just be with myself, listen to my own thoughts, meditate. Pero bago pa man ako makarating sa hagdan, naramdaman ko na ang paghigit ni Adam sa braso ko. Nagulat ako sa ginawa niya. He never raised his voice on me, and he never touched me like this before. But this time, I know he's serious.

"Renee, I looked for you the entire night. Don't I at least deserve an explanation? Am I not your fiancee?!" Halos magdikit na ang kan'yang kilay, ang kan'yang mga mata ay palipat lipat ng tingin sa aking mga mata, na tila ba may makukuha siyang sagot doon.

"Don't raise your voice at me, Adam. I tried calling you, I saw you there with somebody else and you canceled the call!" I said with a stern voice. All I wanted was to lie down in my bed, nurse this fucking hangover, reflect on my decisions, and talk to them once my head is cleared. I didn't want to say things I will just regret, but he was pushing me on to the edge here.

"I didn't cancel your call, for fuck's sake! My battery is dead but I keep trying to turn it on and when I received your call, it died again. I was with my secretary, okay? I just came from a meeting that's why I was with--"

"What, you can't charge your phone in your car then?" I scowled. I've never seen him like this before. Maybe I really don't know him at all. I don't know the man I'm marrying.

"I did but when it turned on, you're not answering anymore. Stop making this about me and answer my goddamn question!"

In my peripheral vision, I saw Hillary slowly walk out of the house. I can hear the echo of Adam's voice inside the house. He's clearly mad. He should be.

I waited until Hillary was completely out of sight. No, that was a lie. I waited until I was ready to say it, let alone hear it out loud. I couldn't admit it.

"I was with Shed." I said truthfully. There was no other way to say it. That was the truth. His grip loosened and he took a step back, the anger and worry on his face now turns to confusion... and pain. I wanted to say sorry, but I know that wouldn't do anything.