The Scared God [ManXManXMan]

Chapter Twenty-six: Капель - Kapel

~Chapter Twenty-six: Капель – Kapel~

The next few days pass in a blur, but it is a comfortable blur. Perun has, for the most part, returned to doing his job in the heavens since my life is no longer in immediate danger, and the household has fallen back into the rhythm that we had before my death. Or, at least, the same schedule. While there is no obvious change that I could point out, things feel different, but...in a good way. There are some things, though, that should have changed that have remained the same.

Namely, my doubts.

I eye Perun as he chops up the minced meat into small portions and puts them inside dough circles. He has been so caught up in making lunch that I do not think he noticed me enter the kitchen twenty minutes ago, but I cannot really blame him for his obliviousness, as I also had been careful to enter the room when his back was turned, and I have been basically hiding behind the table ever since. I mean, if he looked over, he would definitely spot me, but I am not in his immediate line of sight even when he turns towards the spice rack or moves between the stove and the oven.

While it is not so much that I doubt Perun's sincerity, not anymore at least, I still cannot help but feel that I am forgiving him too easily. Our past is not pretty, and some of the things he did still give me nightmares. Of course, he was different back then – we both were – but that does not necessarily mean I should forgive him just yet. I am not even sure if I want to forgive him.

Doesn't mean I don't trust him, though, for whatever unbelievable stupid reason.

There is also the fact that I am not sure how I fit into...all of this. Perun and Hors have been together for a very long time, and they seem quite happy with their dynamic. In the mortal world, polygamy is often frowned upon, but it does happen. In some pantheons, it is not uncommon for three or more gods to form some sort of relationship, but it is almost always temporary. And if it is not, then it eventually falls apart. We are, after all, immortal, and a lot can happen over the course of a couple of centuries.

Feelings change.

And I am not even sure if they want to add me to their dynamic. They have both kissed me, sure, but maybe that is just something they do. I have met many gods who use kisses as a form of greeting or when highly emotional. I have accepted the fact that they genuinely care about me, as it is basically impossible to deny at this point, but what if I find out I am wrong about what type of interest they are showing in me, and it makes them distance themselves from me? Or, worse, hate me?

I sigh quietly, careful not to make enough noise to be heard over Perun's loud chipping. However, my caution proves to be pointless when Hors walks into the kitchen only a moment later, a book in hand, and draws Perun's attention off the food. They exchange a quick kiss before Hors approaches me and sets the book down on the table.

"You may like this one," he says, sitting in the chair beside me and pulling another book – though this one is much smaller – out of the pocket of his pale yellow cardigan.

He's like a walking library.

I almost repeat that thought out loud, but Perun catches my attention when he suddenly turns around, his knife still in hand. "Veles?" He questions, startled, and I do not bother to hide my smirk. The king god regards me suspiciously for a moment before asking, "Did you teleport in here or something?"

Though I could easily brush off his question, I hesitate. I did walk in here on my own two legs, but... "My magic isn't strong enough for that yet."

Both of them look surprised by the admission, but the smiles that follow make the loss of a secret worth it. "Your magic is coming back already?" Hors asks, and when I hesitantly nod, his faint smile melts into something that is both fond and pleased. I am not sure what it is about the expression that makes me turn my head away in embarrassment, but it still makes something in my chest warm. "That's good news."