Festering Darkness

Estel, Aragorn

__Legolas's Point of View__

Birds chirped and the leaves rustle in the trees. I sat upon the balcony two weeks later, after Lord Elrond deemed me well enough to begin moving around a bit.

"It's beautiful out here," Estel's voice came from behind. I turned as he took a seat beside me. He pulled a knee up, resting his elbow on it. "I tend to forget that when I'm gone for long periods of time. Did you ever do that? Take for granted the beauty of your home until you saw it again?"

I nodded. If only he knew how much I missed the vines that grew in from my window and the trees, untouched by the darkness that lured me to sleep every night.

"What happened to you?" The question caught me off guard and I froze.

I looked down and closed my eyes. "I was attacked. You were there, remember?" But he shook his head.

"That's not what I mean. Before that, what happened to you? You were out hunting spiders on your own, then father tells me your body isn't capable of fighting venom the way an elf's body should."

I let out a shaky breath. Did I really want to tell him? I knew I would have to tell someone at some point, I supposed it was better to tell him than having to face Lord Elrond. I have too much history with him. I opened my eyes, reaching over to the potted plant beside me to play with its leaves.

"A mission," I started. "I was on a mission in the south with twelve other soldiers. We were supposed to wipe out a nest before it could grow any further. Not the most difficult mission we had ever been sent on and we expected to be home fairly quickly.

"I ordered half of them to take one side, while I and six other took the other. We would swoop in, kill the babies then regroup and wait for the adults to return. Everything was going according to plan until we got inside and realized some had already hatched. We had no choice but to fight them, but our numbers depleted quickly. I was stung several times but kept fighting until, finally, the few that were still stationed outside broke us out. We ran, pulling each other along for what seemed like miles, but my memory is fuzzy.

Most of us were injured and two were dead. I had enough venom in my body to kill two men, but adrenaline kept me going. We stopped and I sent a soldier out for help while the rest of us, hurt and beyond exhausted, simply tried to stay awake. Two more died within the week and I nearly died myself. That amount of venom had destroyed my body and tainted the edges of my fea. I haven't been able to recover from it since."

He sat for a moment, silent. I wondered what was running through his mind. Did he judge me for my soldier's death in failing to prepare properly? Or worse, did he pity me? Finally, he took a breath.

"So why go after the spiders?"

I sat for a moment, unsure if I wanted to admit another fear to him. "I was angry and afraid, I still am." I drew a shaky breath. "I had only fought orcs since then but spiders plagued my mind. I needed to kill them. I needed that power above them. And I wanted to see if I had recovered enough to go back to the fight. Clearly, I haven't. And I'm not sure I will."

I pulled my knee to my chest at the sound of the last sentence. It's been my greatest fear, the reason I stayed away from home for so long. I thought I could heal on my own, but I cannot. Perhaps I won't ever. I squeezed my eyes shut.

"Why didn't you seek help at home?"

"I did. There was nothing they could do. I didn't return because what good is a prince who is too afraid to fight for a kingdom at war?" It came out whispered and horse. I knew there were other things at home I could do even if I couldn't fight, but the thought of it made me sick. I closed my eyes and I pressed my hand to my injured side.