Roses|| Im Changkyun

\\ 3 //

"what?" i accidentally say out loud, i quickly cover my mouth. I then think back to how i was talking to chris about giving Changkyun a second chance.

"what do you want to talk about?" i ask, totally confused on why he is here.

"about the tutoring" he rubs his nape.

"why couldnt you have just texted me?" i ask even more confused now.

"Can we please go outside and talk?" he asks putting his hands in his pockets.

i look to my mom and she shrugs "yes go outside and talk" she comes to me and pushes me towards the door. i look back at her and she just smiles.

"good luck" she says as she shoves me out the door.

we go and sit on the swings hanging from a tree in my front yard, it was dark out but the street lights were bright enough for me to see where i'm going.

"What did you want to talk about? I can tell it wasn't about the tutoring " i ask as we both sit on the swings in my front yard.

"about the past" he answers. i look down at my hands and fiddle with my bracelets.

"what about it?" i look up at him, i see him breathe deeply.

he goes to open his mouth but shuts it again.

he looks at me "it's about our past, me and you."

"what about our past, it's the past. nothing to it" i say.

when i used to look at him i would get mad. i have now tried to be better about my temper with him. i was hurt for a long time. i couldn't expect myself holding a grudge over him. i didn't want to waste my energy and time on that. after all it happened two years ago. i do have to admit, sometimes i still want to confront him, scream at him but i've tried so hard to move on. I miss it. I don't miss him. I miss the thought of him. I miss the memories. The memories that sting in my chest.

"There is too much to talk about y/n, i'm sorry. i ruined everything. Not only did I ruin us, i ruined you. Y/n, i ruined everything around us. you meant so much to me, but i was an idiot who broke the one person who meant so much to me. I'm not asking for us to be together again. I'm not asking for anything. I just needed to tell you this. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everything. I've heard so much about the time you were going through it. I heard that you couldn't eat, that you couldn't sleep. I would see you with puffy eyes and wet cheeks. i wanted to run up to you. I couldn't. I broke everything off. I cut you out of my life. Or at least i tried to." he sighs

"Kim Y/n, i'm sorry"

Before i would have started crying and ran straight back to him. It's kind of relieving hearing him say this. This is what i've wanted him to say for so long. but hearing it isn't really making me feel much. It's been too long. He's waited too long. i'm over it. i'm over him.

"ok thank you" i get up from the swing and walk towards my front door. i feel a hand lightly grab my arm. i turn around to face changkyun

"that's all your gonna say?" he asks as he study's me

"what am i supposed to say changkyun? it's been too long. you and me happened too long ago. us. sure i miss the memories and what we did together but that's all. nothing else. i don't miss you." i take a deep breath

"Yes, what you heard is true. I did go through hell. I didn't only loose my boyfriend, but i lost my best friend. I did hurt, i hurt a lot. My own best friend put me through the worst pain i've ever felt. Changkyun, thank you for lifting this weight off my shoulders. i have no room to hold a grudge. it was some stupid sophmore year drama."

i start to walk off again. but i stop.

i turn around to see him still on the swing looking at the ground.

"changkyun" i say as i cross my arms

"did you come here tonight just to apologize? or to give me closure?"

"more of just an apology" he says quietly

"well, while you're here. don't you think you should at least tell me why you did it?" i test

"i mean sure" he looks up at me

"i did it because i was too scared for the future. i would think about our bad times more and more often. slowly i was just worried more and i rarely thought of the good times. i was also being teased by my other friends. i couldn't handle it anymore. u still meant a lot to me so i couldn't think of anyway to end it and i ended up ghosting u. when you would run up to me and ask what's wrong i would walk away because i didn't know how to handle myself and i didn't want to bring you into it.   i should've told you everything sooner. i'm so sorry y/n" he looks down again and fiddles with his hands.

"didn't you think that you could talk to me? or at least soojin and doyoung. we were all here for you. sure our relationship was different because we were boyfriend and girlfriend but i was still your best friend." i sit next to him on the swing again

i put my hand on his shoulder and he looks up again

"hey changkyun. i forgive you, everything is good now. let's start over and be friendly" i try to smile at him

he gives me a sad smile "ok y/n"

i get up and walk to my door "goodnight changkyun!"

later that night while i'm in bed on my phone doyoung comes in.

"what's up?" i ask, confused on why he came in here.

he sits on the edge of my bed with his back facing me. "why was changkyun here?"

i shut off my phone and sigh. "He wanted to talk about our past"

i go and sit next to him "what about it?"

i look at him. He is looking at the door with a blank face. "just about what he did and the rest"

i see him breathe deeply. He goes to say something but cuts himself off.

i stare at him until i realize he's not going to say anything. "okay, doyoung go to bed." i get up and pull him with me.

"goodnight y/n" he messes up my hair and walks away.

i go back to my bed and shut the light off. i grab my phone and open messages. of course my group chat with everyone is being spammed. I see a text message from chris.

8:45 pm
hey, i need to talk to you tomorrow. it's serious.

a/n: hey guys! i'm so sorry it took me awhile to upload. i was really busy with all the holidays. I hope yours were great! thanks so much for reading my book❤️
-ava💛🌹